Merry Easter!

Business Card

MERRY 2012!

So Long!

Flying From Here {Palmer, Alaska} to California {By way of canada} tomorrow in Dad's 180.
{It's a plane, a small one, as they go.}
This will take a week or so, and when I get there, I'm not sure there's wifi.
What I'm getting at here is don't expect a story on tuesday.
Or blog posts on the other days, for at least a week.

THE CWA OF DR. Z SMITH: EPISODE #108: Act II

“Next, we need a musical scene.” Otto Said.
  “I have just the place.” Dr. Smith replied.

-=fig. 670: an empty club=-

  “Where is everyone Jeeves?” Dr. Smith asked.
  “Sir,” Jeeves replied, “It's eight o’clock in the morning. We're an all-night Jazz club, not an all-day one. The band does not just exist here 24-7 for your amusement. About now they're sleeping, I imagine.”
 A thought was occurring to Capt. Brown. A thought he regretted not thinking of before. “Jeeves,” He said.   “Has Brigadier Black {Second Trumpet} been playing…every night?”
  “Yes sir.”
  “And to get enough sleep, the band, of course, sleeps all day?”
  “Yes sir.”
  “So…If I've been out having adventures, and the Brigadier has been sleeping, who is running the country?”
  “I'm sure I don't know, sir, the third in command?”
The colour drained from Capt. Brown's face. Karl Fester {Third in command} was not a…particularly bad man, but he was a mean little–Ah, er, ‘Person’. The point being he should not be in charge of a country for any amount of time. And most certainly not three whole days.
  “If you'll excuse me gentlemen,” Capt. Brown said, “I have pressing mayoral business to attend to. Good day.”
 He left in a panic.
  “Right!” Otto Chriek, Director, said. He was strangely unaware of the drama unfolding before his eyes.  “Dr. smith and Ludwig–Where are you ludwig, ah there you are, Our writer had about 10 hours to write a script for this last night, so understandably, there's a lot of holes. for example, this next scene just says ‘Witty Banter for 3 minutes’. So we're going to just improvise. CAMERA!”

-=fig. 671: surprise lost?=-

  “I know who you are.” Dr. Smith said.
  “Oh you do, do you?”
  “That's a nice touch, mucking up your accent, pretending you don't know what the real Von TipRău sounds like. ”
   “I am Sure that I do not know vhat you mean.”
  “Sure. But remember, I'm onto you. You don't have the element of surprise anymore, and that's what you've always relied on so heavily in the past.”
  “Gosh. You seem to have caught onto me. If I vere really this Von TipRău, I would be very scared. But tell me, if I really vere TipRău, Vould I be so obvious? You say he-I Have relied on surprise in the past, so Obviously he-I am good at disguises. So answer me this vhy would I disguise myself as an actor and play myself?”
  “Because it's a very good disguise. The old Double-bluff.”
  “Ah, Ze old double-bluff.”
  “Exactly.”
Applause from the wings. “Bravo!” Exclaimed Otto, “Now, once we get the sound in place and the camera running, just say all that again, that was brilliant!”
  “Mr. Chriek, you do know that his man is in actuality the notorious criminal Villiam Von TipRău?”
  “But that's ridiculous, I picked him out myself.”
  “When?”
  “Oh, about a week, no more. Probably less.”
  “Where?”
  “Greece.¹”
  “But that's impossible. He had me trapped under his pendulum of death hardly more than a week ago. No one can travel that far that fast, It's impossible.”
  “As I told you, I am not Von TipRău.”

-=fig. 672: meanwhile…=-

“I’M BACK I’M BACK!” Capt. Brown yelled as he ran up the stairs of the mayoral building.
 “KARL! KARL? THE CAPTAIN IS BACK!” Karl wasn't on this level.

-=fig. 673: stairs=-

Capt. Brown wondered vaguely why this building had so many stairs.
 “KARL? KARL! Oh there you are. Good. You are officially relieved of your temporary mayoral duties, due to the fact I'm back. Karl? What are you–Put that gun away right now KARL—!”

¹One of the few original european countries to survive the Franco-Russian wars. Neither country could establish secure hold there due to the fact that it's mostly islands. Now.

Hat Swap

The CWA of Dr. Z Smith: Episode #107: Smith and Brown

wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka…

The Jag's tires Squealed over the wet pavement,
 “Go Faster!” hissed the motorcycle's driver, but it wouldn't.

-=fig. 664: chase=-

Hot lead flew from the tommy gun the motorcycles passenger was holding,
It shattered the Jag's windshield.  “That's it.” Capt. Brown said, “Zachary, take the wheel.”
 “James, I can't drive.”
 “Well, now's a good time to learn.” He said as he stood up in his seat, drawing his guns.
Capt. Brown returned fire to the little motorcycle.
 The Jag started to weave, Dr. Smith took the wheel.
It wove more.
  “Look out!” Shouted Capt. Brown as they shot off the road, toward the lake.

-=fig. 665: earlier=-

Ding Dong.




Ding Dong.




Ding Dong.

  “Jeeves would you get that?” Dr. Smith yelled, returning Capt. Brown's serve.
 Capt. Brown threw himself behind the couch and the tennis ball whizzed over his head, bounced off a wall, and smashed a decorative something made of glass.
  “Four Points! Bravo, Zachary!” Capt. Brown said from behind the couch.  He peeked over the couch, retrieved the ball,  then shot off like a rocket for the south door. Dr. Smith saw him go, but wasn't fast enough with his water-balloon cover fire.
 “SIXTH BASE!” Capt. Brown yelled, “I get the special racket!”
  “But it also means Double Jeopardy.”
  “Oh no!” But it was too late.
They both scrambled though the blue door down the hallway, but since they were in Double Jeopardy they had to walk backwards until someone got to ninth base and recited the Double Jeopardy Reversal Incantation.
 Dr. Smith tripped over a low-flying table three feet into the hallway, but Capt. Brown made it to the study, where ninth base was hidden behind a picture in the wall safe.
 That was when Capt. Brown realised he didn't know the combination and couldn't crack the safe with his back to the wall.
 So he used the special racket.
 Two minutes later Dr. Smith made it into the study to find Capt. Brown reciting the Double Jeopardy Reversal Incantation with his arm up to the elbow in the crater where the safe used to be.
“Tigres sunt mean
Tigres sunt ferocia
Tigres sunt dentes
Et ungues ut penetrare!” Finished Capt. Brown. “Your serve, I think, Zachary.” He said. Tossing Dr. Smith a basketball.
“Very good.” Dr. Smith said.
He tossed it in the air,  and readied his tennis racket.
  “SIR!” Called Jeeves,
Dr. Smith missed.
  The ball shot though the air.  Capt. Brown caught it and ran out the other door.

-=fig. 666: calvinball=-

 Dr. Smith ran after him, hurdled the spikes, swung over the pit, and just arrived in time to see Capt. Brown sliding into home base. “Touchdown!” He yelled. Doing a little dance.“That makes it 256⅞ to 163.”
  “How about best two out of three?” Dr. Smith said. As a side thought he wondered where that noise was coming from, it sounded like a guitar, but run through some sort of manually variated electronic modulation—
  “Sir?” Jeeves' Voice brought him out of his reverie.
  “What is it Jeeves?”
  “There are some people here to see you, Sir, They claim to be filmmakers.”

-=fig. 667: filmmakers from the tavee=-

  “Ah! Dr. Smith.” The Vampire said, shaking Capt. Brown's hand. “I have heard quite a bit.”
  “Obviously not enough,” Dr. Smith said, “Because I'm over here. And you are?”
  “Otto. I'm in charge of this little…outfit. Mr. Radio sent us?”
  “Ah.” Dr. Smith said. “You're them. Well, come in. If you want anything just ask Jeeves here, He'll get it for you.”
  “Actually,” Otto Chriek said, “We wanted to ask you some things. Talk to the man himself that sort of thing. Do you have any chairs?”
They sat.
  “So,” Otto started, “How old are you?”
  “21.” Dr. Smith lied
  “And what is it you do all day?”
  “Well, James and I just finished playing a good-old fashioned game of calvinball.”
  “And do you live here, Capt. Brown?”
  “No.”
 This surprised Dr. Smith. “You mean you actually live in that dinky little apartment? I thought that was a ruse!”
 Otto interrupted, “It's pronounced ‘Rooze’, actually.”
  “No it isn't. It's pronounced ‘Ruce’, to rhyme with goose or deuce.” Capt. Brown said.
 “Why don't you live here?” Dr. Smith continued, “you spend most of your time here anyway, and I have plenty of room.”
  “I don't want to, thanks.”
  “But getting back to my questions,” Otto tried, “What else do you do all day?”
  “Read.” Dr. Smith said, thinking, “Um. Listen to records. Invent stuff.”
  “Such as?”
  “I'll show you.”

-=fig. 668: re-animation failure=-

  “This is your laboratory?” Otto asked, looking around at the piles of junk.
  “And this is my latest project, I'm trying to bring the dead…Back to Life!”
Otto Chriek, Vampire, Was less than impressed. “That's not actually all that hard.” He said.
  “Right, ” Dr. Smith said, “But I'm using natural philosophy, Science!  Not magic.”
  “Oh.” Said Otto, “Well that's impossible.”
  “It isn't actually, This guy over in what used to be germany¹ did it, once, but that didn't turn out…all that well.  I managed to get ahold of his notes, but we haven't had any success. Yet.”
  “Is there anything you have had success with?”
  “Oh yeah.” Dr. Smith said, jumping off the platform and pulling things at random out of the piles on the ground “This is a thing for transmitting photographs as telegram data, this is a pen that can write upside-down, this is a camera so small you can fit it in a coat pocket, tiny film for said camera, a device for measuring barometric pressure and displaying it on a gauge, and this, which is clasp that keeps hair in a tidy bundle.”
  “And what does this do?” Asked Otto, pointing his finger dangerously close to a benign-looking machine.
  “DON"T TOUCH IT!” Dr. Smith and Capt. Brown chorused, “It's not ready.” Dr. Smith said, “It's supposed to sort and fold socks, which it does, but you don't want your fingers anywhere near it at any time.” Otto backed up a few steps from the sock-folding machine.
  “Ahem.” Said Jeeves, by way of announcing his presence.
  “Yes Jeeves?”
  “Sir, and Mr. Chriek, the Crew wishes to inform you that you should get going before you lose the morning light.”

-=-

“We're going to start with a car chase,” Otto announced, “and then reveal the events leading up to it in an “Earlier…” sequence which takes up the whole show. These will be your co-stars, meet ‘Von TipRău’ Ludwig Aufenstein and his assistant.”

-=fig. 669: old friends=-

  “Hello.” Said Ludwig.
 Dr. Smith said nothing. He stared into the black pits of the man's eyes, searching for the lie.
  “Hi!” Said Capt. Brown. “Gosh, If I didn't know you, I'd think you were Von TipRău himself!” He laughed like this was funny.
Dr. Smith didn't.

-=-

Otto called action, and the chase began. 

 The motorcyclists started firing.

 Their bullets bounced off the Jag's steel body, 

ping ping ping

  “They're using real bullets!” Capt. Brown shouted, 

  “Of course they are.” Dr. Smith said.

Hot lead flew from the tommy gun the motorcycles passenger was holding,

ping ping

It shattered the Jag's windshield.  “That's it.” Capt. Brown said, “Zachary, take the wheel.”

 “James, I can't drive.”

 “Well, now's a good time to learn.” He said as he stood up in his seat, drawing his guns.

Capt. Brown returned fire to the little motorcycle, but missed it.

 The Jag started to weave, Dr. Smith took the wheel.

It wove more.

  “Look out!” Shouted Capt. Brown as they shot off the road, toward the lake.

  “AAAH!” Screamed Dr. Smith.

Splash Said the Jag.
“At least We're not moving anymore.” Capt. Brown said as they sank gently, He took aim at the Motorcycle, and fired. He hit it. It flipped, once, and exploded in a huge ball of flame.
  “Huh. They don't usually do that.” He said.
But Dr. Smith just laughed, Von TipRău was dead!
  “CUT!” Otto yelled.  “Did you get all that, the explosion, the splash, the gunfire? Good! Good job everyone.”
  “Hey! Otto!” Capt. Brown called, Otto walked over to the lake. “Motorcycles don't usually flip over like that, what happened?”
  “We rigged it with explosives. Don't worry, nobody was aboard, we switched the one from earlier with a stunt dummy.”
Dr. Smith jumped in the lake.

¹ Now a region of france.

Silly Faces

They're slightly different times so they repeat at slightly different frequencies. Watch them both for awhile, It's pretty funny.  They go in sequence, match up, then go in a different sequence.

EDIT: Oh yes, that's me. In the pictures.

Wavey

Smiley

This should be a Gif.

Which means it should move.
Does it move?
{Tutorial I used}

The CWA of Dr. Z. Smith: Episode #105: Doctor At Large

-=fig.655: it's a gif=-

The Jaguar sped along the rocky terrain, badly absorbing every shock.
  “Wheeee!” Capt. Brown yelled, he liked going fast.
  “AAAAAHHH!” Yelled Dr. Smith, he wasn't too fond of getting tossed about like this. In fact {He thought} If only there were some kind of…strap…holding him into the car… “OW!” he shouted. “JAMES!” He had to speak loudly to make himself heard over the wind “WE'RE TOO LOW! THE EQUALIZERS CAN'T HANDLE IT, TAKE US UP ABOUT TEN FEET.”
James sighed, although of course it went unheard because of the wind. The Higher up you went, the slower it felt like you were going. But he knew being this low and going this fast over terrain like this was much too dangerous an activity to persist in, so he toggled a switch in the vicinity of his left knee and pulled back on the newly unlocked steering wheel.
  They soared into the air.
  The equalizers finally met their minimum operating distance, and the ride smoothed out.
  As they rose a cloud of dust came into view.
 “What's that?” Asked Capt. Brown.
 “Dunno, But I don't like it. Take us down over there.” Dr. Smith gestured at the top of a nearby hill.
Capt. Brown Set them down gently and they got out.

-=fig. 656: the dust makers=-

  “Who are they?” Whispered Dr. Smith, kneeling next to Capt. Brown.
  “Judging by the flag they're the french army, but look at them!  All fancy and organised in their uniforms, this is not the french army of old.”
A soldier happened to look up. “Vous là-bas!” He yelled, pointing.
  “Uh oh.” Capt. Brown said, standing up and smiling. “They've spotted us–Bonjour, Bonjour! Comment ça va mon peuples amis! Stand up Zachary. Smile.”
  “James, you know I don't smil–Ow! Fine.”
A frenchman wearing a peaked cap who seemed to be in charge got out of the tank-type thing he was driving and started shouting at the top of the hill.
  “Descends de là à la fois.” He commanded.
Capt. Brown gave him a ten dollar smile, “Bien sûr, bien sûr. À la fois. C'mon Zachary, We're going down there.”
  “Down–No.”
  “Yes.”
  “No!”

-=fig. 657: being friendly in an effort not to get shot=-

“Bonjour, monsieur l'homme.” Capt. Brown said with a grin, saluting. He smiled as if this were the funniest thing in the world. 

 Corporal Chaton did find it very funny. 

  “C'est Corporels Chaton pour vous, des espions.” He said. 

  “Spies!” Capt. Brown said, forgetting himself. 

  “Ah! Legopolians. So you are Spies.”

  “Are not!” Dr. Smith said, defending his friend.

  “Then what are you doing out here in the middle of nowhere? Hmm?”

 Dr. Smith was a genius in many things, but thinking up stories under pressure was not one of them.  

  “We're just passing though.” He decided on eventually, after all, it was true. 

  “Tourists eh? And so where is your car then, Touristiques?

 Dr. Smith saw a problem with this line of questioning, but pressed on.

  “At the top of the hill.” He sagged slightly. He knew how impossible it sounded.

 Corporal Chaton took a long look at the ‘Hill’, Its sides were almost vertical and it was covered in scrub brush. “le petit espion” Corporal Chaton said “Does not wish to re-think his answer?”

Capt. Brown figured this would be the time to intervene. 

 “Corporal, If you send someone to the top of the hill, I promise you will find a genuine mostly fuelled 1935 Jaguar MK IV and in its trunk our passports and bags. This has been a pleasure, Gentlemen, But I assure you we need to get going. Zachary.”

  “Hold It. You are not going anywhere, spies.”

 “We aren't spies! Didn't we just prove that?”

  “You proved nothing and are now my prisoners. Agents, de les arrêter.” 

-=fig. 658: parading the spies on the desert road=-

Capt. Brown shuffled along, the chains hurt his wrists. “So, Corporal, Where're we going?”
  “Détenu taire.” growled the soldier that was jamming a gun in his back.
  “non,” Said Corporal Chaton “il n'y a aucun mal à le connaître, il ne vivra pas long temps de toute façon. Heh Heh Heh ¹. We are going to the Russian Border, Brown Prisoner, Where you will, tragically, die. Saving me a novella of paperwork. Your Car, Of course, will be declared Spoils Of War and will go to the on-duty officer. Me.”

  “Oh.” Capt. Brown said, then in a whisper to Dr. Smith “If I can get us out of this, can we go home?”

  “Sure.” Dr. Smith whispered back.  This whole ‘Fugitive’ thing wasn't working out like he had hoped. 

click

Capt. Brown's lockpick caused his chains to slide off, and in less than a second he was armed, he aimed the right gun at Corporal Chaton and fired the left one into the air. “Attention!” He shouted in his best basso voce “Vous allez nous laisser aller ou le caporal sera là lui!” 

 “Le faire!” Said the Corporal. 

The Soldier who was guarding them came and undid Dr. Smith's chains, And the driver of their jag reluctantly got out.  

  “Home, James.” Dr. Smith said. 

  At Capt. Brown's touch the engine roared into life.

 “You have made this easy on me,” Said Corporal Chaton with a grin. “I do not have to go all the way to the russian border, now. Ils fuient, leur tirer dessus!” 

“That's our cue.” Capt. Brown said, shifting into Flight Gear as the bullets started flying. 

-=fig. 659: flying home=-

¹In case you can't read french, ‘Heh Heh Heh.’ translates pretty roughly to “Hah Hah Hah.” In english.

Happy Birthday to me!

Today is my birthday!

I made this as a birthday present to myself.

PARTY PARTY PARTY!

Introducing: the MK7!

Animated GIFs

I made all these in Photoshop CC5.