Thursday, December 01, 2011

CWA Mini–sode: Lumberjack



Capt. Brown was pleased with himself, he had carried this tree all the way back. 
One–handed. 
  “Look, Zachary!” He said, grinning, “I got us a christmas tree!”
 Dr. Smith looked at it. “They didn’t have a bigger one?” He said, smiling slightly. 
Capt. Brown was momentarially confused, “I couldn’t have lifted a bigger one—Oh, you’re joking. ’They’ didn’t have anything to do with it, anyway. I chopped this one down.”
Dr. Smith examined it, it seemed to be your standard pine, very christmassy, ideal. Then he noticed Capt. Brown’s shirt.  
 “Where did you get that shirt, James?” 
 “It was first prize. I won it. It’s 100% Wool Tartan.”
 “It’s certainly bright. What was the contest?” 
 “Carving Woodland Animals out of Tree–Trunks with Chainsaws. I made the cutest moose you’ve ever seen.”  
 “Let’s see it then.” 
Capt. Brown fished a snapshot out of his pocket. “See?” He said, “It’s almost impossible to make legs if you don’t know the trick, no one else knew the trick. Detail work, that’s what sells these things.”
Dr. Smith examined the snapshot, it had been taken with an instant camera. The carving was in fact pretty cute. It was a little statue, carved of wood. He wondered how Capt. brown had made it with only a chainsaw, that seemed impossible. “Very skillful, James.” He said “I’m honestly impressed. But where is it?” 
  “They sold it.” Capt. Brown replied, “It was all for charity.” He added, in response to Dr. Smith’s questioning stare. 
  “What was the charity?” 
  “It was a good charity, I thought they were doing some really great work.”
  “What was it?”
Capt. Brown seemed a little sheepish.  “Razors for Woodsmen.”  He said. 



Good Night, Internet


I Spent a good long time messing around, trying to get the guy in the center right. 
I Finally got him good enough, but the picture was boring. 
And it was nighttime in the desert. 
And I own a great camera, and a tripod. 
So about twenty 30–15 second exposures later I got this one picture I liked, and one that was decent, and a picture of the moon I didn’t completely hate, which was weird for me. 

I combined the two star pictures that weren’t terrible, {Blend modes!} added a vignette, and decided to be done because I didn’t hate it, and I knew that If I kept messing around with it I would ruin it. 

So yeah. That’s supposed to be me, by the way.  In the center there, behind the computer. 

Sunday, November 27, 2011

CWA Mini–sode: Automotive Repair



Dr. Smith watched the legs protruding from under his Jaguar.
  “What’re you doing, James?”  He asked eventually.
  “Fixin’ the Jag” Came the muffled voice of Capt. James Brown,  Mayor of the Grand City of Legopolis.
  “James…” Dr. Smith said Carefully, “It wasn’t broken.” 
  “It was making a funny noise.”
  “What makes you think you can fix a car, James?”
  “Zachary, I run a country. I think I can fix a car.”
  “But those things aren’t even remotely similar–” 
Dr. Smith had a terrible thought. 
  “James… Was the noise sort of like…Putt putt putt putt putt putt ROAR! Purrrrrrrrrr…?”
  “Yes! Exactly like that. But I think I found the problem—”
  “That’s… That’s the noise it’s supposed to make.”

Mini–sodes are not part of the main story, they are side stories, which may have happened at any time, or no time at all.

CWA Mini–sode: Jeeves’ Day Off






  “Jeeves—” Dr. Smith started,
  “No.” Replied Jeeves. “Today, Sir, is Sunday.”
  “Is that what day it is? I wondered.”
 “Yes, Sir. And Sunday is my Day Off.”
 “Wait, you get a day off?”
  “I do.”
  “But you’re a robot. What could you possibly do on your day off?”
  “Interestingly, Sir, According to Page Six of ‘The Gentleman’s Gentleman’s Handbook’ [1856, Göedfreid, Niköløus, and Frank] Quote: ‘Hay Gentleman’s Gentleman need knot disclos the activitys of Hys Daye Of Reste to his Gentleman’s Gentleman’s Gentleman. Hys Daye Of Reste Is Hys Owne Tyme. ”
  “You used the word gentleman five times in that sentence.”
  “Proper Sentence Structure was not observed in 1856. Nor Standardised Spelling, although they almost universally enjoyed the letter Y.”
  “They did. Alright, I guess. Go enjoy your mysterious Day Off.”
Jeeves turned to go.
  “WAIT!” Dr. Smith called out, in a panic.
  “Yes, Sir?” Jeeves replied.
  “How will I feed myself?”
  “That is a good question, Sir. I wish you luck, Good Day.”


Mini–sodes are not part of the main story, they are side stories, which may have happened at any time, or no time at all.
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