The CWA of Dr. Z Smith: Episode #109: BANG

Bang.
“Really?” Capt. Brown said. “Really? Come on, Karl, I'm twelve feet in front of you and you miss? This is why you'll always be number three.”
Karl fired again and missed again.
“Have you seen this room?” Capt. Brown accused, “It is covered in wood panelling. Do you know how hard it is to fill in bullet holes through wood? And it never looks right. Tell you what,” He stood real still and spread out his arms “If you are going to keep shooting, please, hit me. I can deal with that. What I can't deal with is wood putty.”
Karl took aim, Finally, his chance to be the mayor…forever!

-=fig. 674: karl the marksman=-

Fired,
And the bullet bounced off.
  “You forgot your training.” Capt. Brown said, “ ‘Rule 14: Always shoot them in the head. Not the Torso.’ Come on, It's on the first page.”
  “But…How?” Was all Karl could manage.
  “I forget what it's called, Dr. Smith isn't very good at names,” He undid his top two buttons and reached into his shirt, pulling out a shimmery white fabric “But it's this super thin fabric that repels bullets and breathes. I had him make me an undershirt out of it. They're going to be standard issue next year and you would know this if you came to the staff meetings.”
By now Capt. Brown was really quite close to Karl, close enough, in fact, to disarm him and beat him about the head.
  “That's what you get for messing with the mayor.  I am in a hurry today, But If I weren't…”

-=-

  “Where've you been?” Dr. Smith asked.

  “I told you. Doin’ Stuff.” Capt. Brown replied cagily. 

  “Hey, James, I need to tell you something,—”

  “PLACES” Shouted Otto. 

-=-

Dr. Smith loked over the edge of the balcony. “You sure this is safe?” He said.

  “Of course.” Replied Otto. 

  “Shouldn't we have…Safety harnesses or—”

  “ROLL SOUND, ROLL TAPE”

-=fig. 675: film=-

    “C’mon Zachary before Von–”
    “But I am already here!” said Von TipRău, waving a black, hooded-gun thing.
    “Psst, Zachary, what is that?” 
     “It's a specialised tool I made, ” He said “For when you want a hammer with a bit more…kick. But how did he–”
     “Enough Vhispering, so you thought zat you could get avay? Hmm? Vell you caunt! Take ziss!”
     “Wha–”
BAM!

-=fig. 676: fallen hat=-

  
  “ZACHARY!” Capt. Brown yelled. Dr. Smith had fallen a story onto tile, Capt. Brown Slid down the rope he was supposed to be escaping on, running to his friend’s side. “Are you okay?” He asked. 
  “Of course I am.” Dr. Smith answered.  “Takes a bit more than that to kill or even seriously injure me. Just give me a minute. But what I wanted to tell you is that that–” He pointed at Von TipRău, who was hamming it up with a dramatic laugh. “Is either the real Von TipRău or a clone, either way he's dangerous. Kill it.” 
  “But he said his name was Ludwig–and he was lying. Got it.” 
 Capt. Brown disregarded the rope and climbed the wall. It was way more intimidating, besides, he was quite tall so the wall wasn't actually too much of a hurdle. 
  “CUT!” Said Otto, “That's good. Looked good? Good. That's all for today–WHY ARE YOU SHOOTING!” 
 Capt. Brown missed Von TipRău again. “STOP YELLING!” He said. 
Von TipRău was proving to be quicker than he looked. He ducked back inside, Capt. Brown followed. 
 RATTA TATTA TATTA TAT!
 “STOP SHOOTING AT ME I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING!”  He swung around the staircase and ran up it. 
Capt. Brown knew where that staircase got out. He smiled.  

-=-

Ludwig Aufenstein leaned against the door to the roof. 
  His heart felt like it was going to give out.  He had no idea why the madman was trying to kill him and he wasn't going to stick around to find out. This trip to the future had not been working out like he hoped,  first, the future turns out to be a lot like the present, not one flying car, then a tramp steals all his money and clothes leaving him with only this cheesy dollar-store dinner outfit, then a vampire traps him in a boxcar for a week, promising paying work, then Dr. Smith and his madman shoot at him, he never gets paid and it's all the fault of that Dr. Smith! Who by the way keeps calling him the name of his character, and accusing him of terrible things. And then he sicks his mad henchman on Ludwig just because he followed the vampires orders? No.  It's all Dr. Smith's fault. He wouldn't be here if Dr. Smith hadn’t…wasn’t…wait. If he went back in time and killed Dr. Smith…none of this would have happened.  He would be free! Free! He reached into the cheesy jacket and pulled out a tiny machine.  
  It lit up.

-=-

Capt. Brown kicked down the door. BANG BANG BANG! “Die, Von TipRău! DIE!” 

But Von TipRău was missing. 

 He couldn't possibly have gone anywhere else,  there hadn't been time. 

-=fifteen years ago=-

Ludwig Aufenstein cheered. They would make him a count for this. 

He had discovered a space between spaces! 

This was a huge scientific discovery!

-=fig. 677: rlbs=-

And the perfect spot from which to make that Dr. Smith pay dearly for what he had done. The time machine would never work again, but that didn't matter, now.

  “Say, Boss,” Said Ludwig Aufenstein's assistant. ¹
  “Yes Mr. Monoid?” 
  “This door, that you made, Could it transport you between two points in this world?”
  “Yes. Easily.”
  “Beats the bus.”
  “I have already filed the incorporation papers for a company that does just that, Just think Mr. Monoid, one of these in every home, on every street corner. We'll make a fortune.”
  “Sounds great, boss, but what will we call this company?”
  “I named it after a favourite greek phrase of mine, ‘Dues ex Machina’ It means ‘God out of a Machine’ And that's what we'll be, gods. Because of this machine. Speaking of the machine, have this one decommissioned. It appears and disappears far too randomly.”
  “Of course, Boss.”
  “I mean, you just close the door and–It's gone. Ah, well, forget about it. In the mean time Monoid, find me a man, actually, he's probably a boy, by the name of Smith. Zachary Smith.”


¹In romanian.

Writing

This is what I go through every week.

It's about procrastination and how the CWA gets written: stcroiss.blogspot.com/​search/​label/​Zachary%27s%20Story

MUSIC: 3 Gymnopédies–Pascal Rogé  Bumble Boogie–Hal Kemp his Orchestra and Chorus.

EDITED WITH: FCPX

SHOT ON: Canon T3i

STARRING: Me.

BBQ

In spirit only, I'm afraid I missed most of the actual Barbecuing.

—Jacob

SHOT WITH: Canon T3i

EDITED WITH FCPX

MUSIC: ‘Opus One’ Tommy Dorsey

THE CWA OF DR. Z SMITH: EPISODE #108: Act II

“Next, we need a musical scene.” Otto Said.
  “I have just the place.” Dr. Smith replied.

-=fig. 670: an empty club=-

  “Where is everyone Jeeves?” Dr. Smith asked.
  “Sir,” Jeeves replied, “It's eight o’clock in the morning. We're an all-night Jazz club, not an all-day one. The band does not just exist here 24-7 for your amusement. About now they're sleeping, I imagine.”
 A thought was occurring to Capt. Brown. A thought he regretted not thinking of before. “Jeeves,” He said.   “Has Brigadier Black {Second Trumpet} been playing…every night?”
  “Yes sir.”
  “And to get enough sleep, the band, of course, sleeps all day?”
  “Yes sir.”
  “So…If I've been out having adventures, and the Brigadier has been sleeping, who is running the country?”
  “I'm sure I don't know, sir, the third in command?”
The colour drained from Capt. Brown's face. Karl Fester {Third in command} was not a…particularly bad man, but he was a mean little–Ah, er, ‘Person’. The point being he should not be in charge of a country for any amount of time. And most certainly not three whole days.
  “If you'll excuse me gentlemen,” Capt. Brown said, “I have pressing mayoral business to attend to. Good day.”
 He left in a panic.
  “Right!” Otto Chriek, Director, said. He was strangely unaware of the drama unfolding before his eyes.  “Dr. smith and Ludwig–Where are you ludwig, ah there you are, Our writer had about 10 hours to write a script for this last night, so understandably, there's a lot of holes. for example, this next scene just says ‘Witty Banter for 3 minutes’. So we're going to just improvise. CAMERA!”

-=fig. 671: surprise lost?=-

  “I know who you are.” Dr. Smith said.
  “Oh you do, do you?”
  “That's a nice touch, mucking up your accent, pretending you don't know what the real Von TipRău sounds like. ”
   “I am Sure that I do not know vhat you mean.”
  “Sure. But remember, I'm onto you. You don't have the element of surprise anymore, and that's what you've always relied on so heavily in the past.”
  “Gosh. You seem to have caught onto me. If I vere really this Von TipRău, I would be very scared. But tell me, if I really vere TipRău, Vould I be so obvious? You say he-I Have relied on surprise in the past, so Obviously he-I am good at disguises. So answer me this vhy would I disguise myself as an actor and play myself?”
  “Because it's a very good disguise. The old Double-bluff.”
  “Ah, Ze old double-bluff.”
  “Exactly.”
Applause from the wings. “Bravo!” Exclaimed Otto, “Now, once we get the sound in place and the camera running, just say all that again, that was brilliant!”
  “Mr. Chriek, you do know that his man is in actuality the notorious criminal Villiam Von TipRău?”
  “But that's ridiculous, I picked him out myself.”
  “When?”
  “Oh, about a week, no more. Probably less.”
  “Where?”
  “Greece.¹”
  “But that's impossible. He had me trapped under his pendulum of death hardly more than a week ago. No one can travel that far that fast, It's impossible.”
  “As I told you, I am not Von TipRău.”

-=fig. 672: meanwhile…=-

“I’M BACK I’M BACK!” Capt. Brown yelled as he ran up the stairs of the mayoral building.
 “KARL! KARL? THE CAPTAIN IS BACK!” Karl wasn't on this level.

-=fig. 673: stairs=-

Capt. Brown wondered vaguely why this building had so many stairs.
 “KARL? KARL! Oh there you are. Good. You are officially relieved of your temporary mayoral duties, due to the fact I'm back. Karl? What are you–Put that gun away right now KARL—!”

¹One of the few original european countries to survive the Franco-Russian wars. Neither country could establish secure hold there due to the fact that it's mostly islands. Now.

Record Player [FCPX]

The obligatory ‘More special effects than actual movie’ movie.
But I think it's really pretty.
[First film with my shiny new FCPX!]
[ProTip: when exporting from FCPX: It asks for your Username, when really you should give it your email. That threw me. For over an hour.]

SHOT WITH: Canon T3i
EDITED WITH: Final Cut Pro X
MUSIC: ‘Stardust’ Artie Shaw

—Jacob

Doppelgänger

Met my Doppelgänger today.
He’s actually quite nice, once we got past the whole “There can only be one!” business.

[ Photoshop Fun today. ]

Hat Swap

The CWA of Dr. Z Smith: Episode #107: Smith and Brown

wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka…

The Jag's tires Squealed over the wet pavement,
 “Go Faster!” hissed the motorcycle's driver, but it wouldn't.

-=fig. 664: chase=-

Hot lead flew from the tommy gun the motorcycles passenger was holding,
It shattered the Jag's windshield.  “That's it.” Capt. Brown said, “Zachary, take the wheel.”
 “James, I can't drive.”
 “Well, now's a good time to learn.” He said as he stood up in his seat, drawing his guns.
Capt. Brown returned fire to the little motorcycle.
 The Jag started to weave, Dr. Smith took the wheel.
It wove more.
  “Look out!” Shouted Capt. Brown as they shot off the road, toward the lake.

-=fig. 665: earlier=-

Ding Dong.




Ding Dong.




Ding Dong.

  “Jeeves would you get that?” Dr. Smith yelled, returning Capt. Brown's serve.
 Capt. Brown threw himself behind the couch and the tennis ball whizzed over his head, bounced off a wall, and smashed a decorative something made of glass.
  “Four Points! Bravo, Zachary!” Capt. Brown said from behind the couch.  He peeked over the couch, retrieved the ball,  then shot off like a rocket for the south door. Dr. Smith saw him go, but wasn't fast enough with his water-balloon cover fire.
 “SIXTH BASE!” Capt. Brown yelled, “I get the special racket!”
  “But it also means Double Jeopardy.”
  “Oh no!” But it was too late.
They both scrambled though the blue door down the hallway, but since they were in Double Jeopardy they had to walk backwards until someone got to ninth base and recited the Double Jeopardy Reversal Incantation.
 Dr. Smith tripped over a low-flying table three feet into the hallway, but Capt. Brown made it to the study, where ninth base was hidden behind a picture in the wall safe.
 That was when Capt. Brown realised he didn't know the combination and couldn't crack the safe with his back to the wall.
 So he used the special racket.
 Two minutes later Dr. Smith made it into the study to find Capt. Brown reciting the Double Jeopardy Reversal Incantation with his arm up to the elbow in the crater where the safe used to be.
“Tigres sunt mean
Tigres sunt ferocia
Tigres sunt dentes
Et ungues ut penetrare!” Finished Capt. Brown. “Your serve, I think, Zachary.” He said. Tossing Dr. Smith a basketball.
“Very good.” Dr. Smith said.
He tossed it in the air,  and readied his tennis racket.
  “SIR!” Called Jeeves,
Dr. Smith missed.
  The ball shot though the air.  Capt. Brown caught it and ran out the other door.

-=fig. 666: calvinball=-

 Dr. Smith ran after him, hurdled the spikes, swung over the pit, and just arrived in time to see Capt. Brown sliding into home base. “Touchdown!” He yelled. Doing a little dance.“That makes it 256⅞ to 163.”
  “How about best two out of three?” Dr. Smith said. As a side thought he wondered where that noise was coming from, it sounded like a guitar, but run through some sort of manually variated electronic modulation—
  “Sir?” Jeeves' Voice brought him out of his reverie.
  “What is it Jeeves?”
  “There are some people here to see you, Sir, They claim to be filmmakers.”

-=fig. 667: filmmakers from the tavee=-

  “Ah! Dr. Smith.” The Vampire said, shaking Capt. Brown's hand. “I have heard quite a bit.”
  “Obviously not enough,” Dr. Smith said, “Because I'm over here. And you are?”
  “Otto. I'm in charge of this little…outfit. Mr. Radio sent us?”
  “Ah.” Dr. Smith said. “You're them. Well, come in. If you want anything just ask Jeeves here, He'll get it for you.”
  “Actually,” Otto Chriek said, “We wanted to ask you some things. Talk to the man himself that sort of thing. Do you have any chairs?”
They sat.
  “So,” Otto started, “How old are you?”
  “21.” Dr. Smith lied
  “And what is it you do all day?”
  “Well, James and I just finished playing a good-old fashioned game of calvinball.”
  “And do you live here, Capt. Brown?”
  “No.”
 This surprised Dr. Smith. “You mean you actually live in that dinky little apartment? I thought that was a ruse!”
 Otto interrupted, “It's pronounced ‘Rooze’, actually.”
  “No it isn't. It's pronounced ‘Ruce’, to rhyme with goose or deuce.” Capt. Brown said.
 “Why don't you live here?” Dr. Smith continued, “you spend most of your time here anyway, and I have plenty of room.”
  “I don't want to, thanks.”
  “But getting back to my questions,” Otto tried, “What else do you do all day?”
  “Read.” Dr. Smith said, thinking, “Um. Listen to records. Invent stuff.”
  “Such as?”
  “I'll show you.”

-=fig. 668: re-animation failure=-

  “This is your laboratory?” Otto asked, looking around at the piles of junk.
  “And this is my latest project, I'm trying to bring the dead…Back to Life!”
Otto Chriek, Vampire, Was less than impressed. “That's not actually all that hard.” He said.
  “Right, ” Dr. Smith said, “But I'm using natural philosophy, Science!  Not magic.”
  “Oh.” Said Otto, “Well that's impossible.”
  “It isn't actually, This guy over in what used to be germany¹ did it, once, but that didn't turn out…all that well.  I managed to get ahold of his notes, but we haven't had any success. Yet.”
  “Is there anything you have had success with?”
  “Oh yeah.” Dr. Smith said, jumping off the platform and pulling things at random out of the piles on the ground “This is a thing for transmitting photographs as telegram data, this is a pen that can write upside-down, this is a camera so small you can fit it in a coat pocket, tiny film for said camera, a device for measuring barometric pressure and displaying it on a gauge, and this, which is clasp that keeps hair in a tidy bundle.”
  “And what does this do?” Asked Otto, pointing his finger dangerously close to a benign-looking machine.
  “DON"T TOUCH IT!” Dr. Smith and Capt. Brown chorused, “It's not ready.” Dr. Smith said, “It's supposed to sort and fold socks, which it does, but you don't want your fingers anywhere near it at any time.” Otto backed up a few steps from the sock-folding machine.
  “Ahem.” Said Jeeves, by way of announcing his presence.
  “Yes Jeeves?”
  “Sir, and Mr. Chriek, the Crew wishes to inform you that you should get going before you lose the morning light.”

-=-

“We're going to start with a car chase,” Otto announced, “and then reveal the events leading up to it in an “Earlier…” sequence which takes up the whole show. These will be your co-stars, meet ‘Von TipRău’ Ludwig Aufenstein and his assistant.”

-=fig. 669: old friends=-

  “Hello.” Said Ludwig.
 Dr. Smith said nothing. He stared into the black pits of the man's eyes, searching for the lie.
  “Hi!” Said Capt. Brown. “Gosh, If I didn't know you, I'd think you were Von TipRău himself!” He laughed like this was funny.
Dr. Smith didn't.

-=-

Otto called action, and the chase began. 

 The motorcyclists started firing.

 Their bullets bounced off the Jag's steel body, 

ping ping ping

  “They're using real bullets!” Capt. Brown shouted, 

  “Of course they are.” Dr. Smith said.

Hot lead flew from the tommy gun the motorcycles passenger was holding,

ping ping

It shattered the Jag's windshield.  “That's it.” Capt. Brown said, “Zachary, take the wheel.”

 “James, I can't drive.”

 “Well, now's a good time to learn.” He said as he stood up in his seat, drawing his guns.

Capt. Brown returned fire to the little motorcycle, but missed it.

 The Jag started to weave, Dr. Smith took the wheel.

It wove more.

  “Look out!” Shouted Capt. Brown as they shot off the road, toward the lake.

  “AAAH!” Screamed Dr. Smith.

Splash Said the Jag.
“At least We're not moving anymore.” Capt. Brown said as they sank gently, He took aim at the Motorcycle, and fired. He hit it. It flipped, once, and exploded in a huge ball of flame.
  “Huh. They don't usually do that.” He said.
But Dr. Smith just laughed, Von TipRău was dead!
  “CUT!” Otto yelled.  “Did you get all that, the explosion, the splash, the gunfire? Good! Good job everyone.”
  “Hey! Otto!” Capt. Brown called, Otto walked over to the lake. “Motorcycles don't usually flip over like that, what happened?”
  “We rigged it with explosives. Don't worry, nobody was aboard, we switched the one from earlier with a stunt dummy.”
Dr. Smith jumped in the lake.

¹ Now a region of france.

Swish Cut

Experiment with the Vimeo weekend project.

Coasters