Tuesday, June 8, 2010

The C.W.A. of Dr. Z. Smith: Episode 57 Captured By the French



Last Week as you recall, Dr Zachary Smith  Had gotten himself {along with the intrepid Capt. James Brown Mayor of Legopolis} into a minor difficulty…

-=fig, 372: surrounded by the french=-
"Well Zachary," said Capt. Brown, as he tallied up hostile berets, "This is another fine mess.  Why is it I follow you on these things?"
 "My winning Personality?" Said Dr. Smith with a smile, though Capt. Brown couldn't see it.
  Capt. Brown considered, "No… That's not it."
   The chief Frenchman, A fearsome sort with a black beret, red beard and eyepatch seemed to get annoyed by this constant banter.
 "Tais-toi! Imbéciles! Vous allez me dire pourquoi vous êtes ici. Ou bien."  This caused raucous laughter from the assorted assassins.  As if in anticipation of the 'Ou bien.' appended to the end of the statement.
 Dr. Smith decided that this was the time to put an end to all this 'French' nonsense.   "I'm sorry, I can't understand a word that you're saying, perhaps you know a little Romanian, I speak that fluently."
  But of course, the Assassins, being French, spoke not a word of Leopolian.  Nor understood it, for as the great French poet once wrote: 'Toutes les langues que le français ne sont pas valeur de l'apprentissage.'
 He mainly wrote prose.
"L'idiot–"
  "That's Me!" Cried Capt. Brown,Very Nearly raising his hand, in the manner of a schoolboy who knows the answer.   To Dr. Smith he said; "That was my nickname, back in French prison.  Lidiot.  It means 'mayor'."
     Dr. Smith nodded, that seemed to fit with his meagre knowledge of the French.
  This charming Conversation was cut short by a flying Frenchman.
All eyes turned to watch his arced descent, which was all the distraction Dr. Smith and Capt. Brown needed to hasten their escape.  Dr. Smith jumped, then flattened himself to the ground, a technique which left several Frenchmen dead, killed by their trigger-happy fellows.
  Capt. Brown was already over a nearby small hillock, and accelerating. 
  Dr. Smith joined him.
  Their Progress was hampered when Dr. Smith ran into a stone wall.

-=fig. 373: stonewall=-
It certainly felt like a stone wall.
 "You alright there Mr. Doctor?" The British wall asked. "Sorry Sir, dint see you there.  You ran right into me fist, looks like it hurt a fair amount. "
  The stone wall reached way down and lifted Dr. Smith up by his suspenders, dusting him off in a friendly way.
 "Hello Charles." Dr. Smith slurred, the impact having scrambled his brains temporarily.
  "Hello Mr. O'Gre." Said Capt. Brown, walking in from off-screen in a nonchalant way.
   " 'ello Cap'n. It seems I've discombobulated Mr. Doctor here, and please Cap'n, It's Charles."
  "Well Charles, give him here, I'll take him.  He'll come 'round in a minute or so."
 Mr. Charles Wilhelm O'Gre, Gentleman and reformed ogre handed Dr. Smith over in the most delicate way possible with hands the size of watermelons.  Charles was as tall as two men, and as wide as four.  With hundreds of teeth, in rows like a shark, but sparkling clean and smelling slightly of mint.  And to top it all off, a charmingly askew Top Hat, almost tall enough to rest on his head while still hiding most of his Horn.   
  Dr. Smith sat up from the worryingly sharp bit of ground where Capt. Brown had carelessly dumped him.
  His eyes looked fractured, one half larger than the other, but it was just his glasses.
 He fished a new pair out of his suitcase.
 He Blinked twice, adjusting his eyes to the new Spectacles, and {still sitting on the ground} pointed an arm at Charles. "Next Time I'm passed out, Charles, don't hand me to him." He gestured towards Capt. Brown, "Broken shale, that's what I landed on. And it hurt.   I'm quite surprised I'm not bleeding all over."
 "However Zachary,"  Said Capt. Brown with a bemused expression, "It appears that you are not bleeding and we need to get going as that," He pointed "Is the french army."   This was punctuated by a gunshot and a huge chunk of tree worryingly near the trio quite suddenly disappearing.
 Before the newfound woodchips hit the ground, the trio was gone.
  "Don't worry Mr. Doctor and Cap'n, I gotcha."
    Charles sped through the forest, surprisingly fast for a being of his weight, our two heroes tucked under his barrel-like arms.
This surprising turn of Speed was lost on the french army, as they had vehicles.
  Vehicles with automatic firearms. 

  "If we can lure them to my House, we'll be fine." Said Dr. Smith.
   Capt. Brown disagreed with this plan.  "Back to the city? Are you crazy?"
A missile, green and spinning, lodged itself in the ground.
  The explosoin rocked the earth.
   Capt. Brown looked at Dr. Smith, who was up-side down and bleeding from a gash along the forehead,  and said: "The City it is."





-=Best Regards=-
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Sir Jacob D. Fredrickson Esq.
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Chief Executive Officer of Early Bird Industries, Inc.
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