Friday, February 24, 2012

CWA Mini–Sode: Dr. Smith Trolls the RSS

  “What’cha typing, Zachary?” Asked Capt. Brown, whose patience had finally been worn down by Dr. Smith’s endless typing, the noise from which rung throughout the house.
  “I’m writing a monograph for the RSS 1 on an aphid that feeds solely on the leaves of the rosa gallincanae and is only found in some parts of romania.” 2
  “Is it an important bug?” Asked Capt. Brown,
  “No.” Replied Dr. Smith. “But those cretins at the Royal Scientific Society won’t find that out until they’ve waded through over 600 pages of contradicting facts that nevertheless are completely true, philosophical conundrums where both outcomes are possible and valid and aggravatingly complete descriptions of things which bear no significance to anything, but sound like they do, written completely in obtuse terms and language that hasn’t meant what I’m saying for over a hundred years.”
  “Geez,” Cap’t Brown Replied “What did they Do to you?”
  “The denied my application. Again.”
  “Okay, I’m getting you out of the house.”
  “Yeah, maybe that’a good idea.” Admitted Dr. Smith. He got up to go get his coat and hat.
Capt. Brown hung behind for a moment, possesed by curiosity.  He unwrapped the paper from the typewriter and started to read it.
He saw that it was page 422,3 but a paragraph later he dropped it like it was on fire due to the throbbing pain in his temples and the overwhelming existential despair which consumed him. 

1 Royal Scientific Society
2 Colloquially known as the Gypsy Rose Leaf bug.
3 Err 422