Tuesday, May 24, 2011

The CWA of Dr. Z. Smith: Episode #103: Secret Passageway

Capt. Brown Slid down the tunnel.  It twisted, turned, the different coloured sections flying by, until finally letting out in a dark room.
 Capt. Brown slid a across the slick floor before being stopped by a shelving unit, which rattled.
 “I was going to put a pillow or something there, but there wasn't time.” Dr. Smith said as he offered Capt. Brown his arm.
 Once they were both standing up, Capt. Brown examined the room they were standing in. “Where are we?” He asked.
   “This is the inventory room.” Dr. Smith said, gesturing wildly.
   “But…I've been to the inventory room,” Capt. Brown said. “It isn't anything like this.”
     Dr. Smith smiled. “You've been to the inventory room that's filled with things I have cleared, and made sure were not dangerous. This is the main inventory room, the one that's filled with dangerous things. ”
  Capt. Brown took a surreptitious look past the end of their aisle, tall shelves lined both sides of the endless passageway.
 “You make a lot of dangerous stuff, then.”
   “Oh yeah.” Dr. smith replied as he swept the contents of the nearest shelf into his briefcase.

-=fig. 647: the other inventory room=-
“So…” Capt. Brown asked, trying to contain his excitement “Do you have something in here that could…I don't know…annihilate whole armies instantly but leave the operator safe?”
 “Sure.” Dr. smith said, he wasn't really paying attention, He was trying to decide weather or not he'd need a shrink-ray. “I have dozens of things like that, I was trying to cure the common cold and I came across this particularly nasty–No. Wait. You can't have anything that's in here. There's a reason you've never been in here before.”
   “But why Zachary?”
      “Because it wouldn't be fair, James.”
        “Life isn't fair. We're the smallest country in the world and we're right on the borders of the two biggest ones. With the stuff in here we could rule the world.”
           “But we won't James. I mean, look at how well that turned out for Von BadGuy. No.  Besides, I have an antidote or a counteragent for everything in here, so the minute Russia, or France, or that wildcard, ‘Canada’, the minute they develop a parallel death ray, mind-control beam or superbug influenza we'll be ready. Now, help me out here, do you think we'll need a shrink ray while we're on the lamb?”
 Capt. Brown sighed and rubbed his face. “Zachary.” He said “It's a building permit. I don't think the police will chase you across the country because you didn't obtain and file form 74a.”
“You never know. Besides, the last time I was a fugitive from the law I didn't have time to get all my stuff. I want to be ready this time.”
 “You were a fugitive for an afternoon. An Afternoon. Besides, I've been a fugitive before, let me tell you, It's not fun. There's altogether to much sleeping in cold bus terminals, and fields, and… running…from the…police.” Capt. Brown had slowly realised that he was describing, word-for-word, the last ‘vacation’ he had taken with Dr. Smith. “On second thought, you might be a really good fugitive. But remember,” Capt. Brown had decided to start playing along. “They will have frozen your accounts, being the criminal that you of course are, they won't want you to be able to get to your money.”
Dr. Smith smiled and jabbed a finger in the air, “AHA! Which is why I always keep all of my money, in cash, in my house. I'll have Jeeves move some down to the Briefcase Room.¹ ”

-=fig. 648: rose bushes=-
“So where are we?” Capt. Brown asked.
 “The back lot of the smith compound. No one every comes back here because of the–”
    “–Rose bushes.  Nasty little buggers aren't they? But it's the perfect spot for a secret escape hatch.”
Capt. Brown disentangled himself from the thorny menace “Zachary,” He said “I've been thinking. I can't run away with you in the middle of the night. I have friends, family, responsibilities, a job that pays actual money. I can't just drop all that to–”
 “I'll let you drive the Jag.”

-=fig. 649: midnight flight from the law=-
“So, where to?” Capt. Brown asked over the wind.
 “I'll let you decide, buddy-my-pal, while I work the buttons and knobs”
Once outside the city limits, Dr. Smith activated a silver button, the wheels of the Jag folded away and they rose into the air. This was severely necessary because the city was built on a plateau, and just outside the city limits the ground drops away, making wheel-based travel frightfully difficult.
Capt. Brown flew them away into the night, he had no idea where they were going, but he was sure it was going to be exciting when they got there.

¹ Dr. Smith's briefcase is actually a portal to a particular room in his house, that's how he can store so much stuff in it.