Tuesday, November 9, 2010

The C.W.A. of Dr. Z. Smith: Episode #76: Zombification


Last Week as you recall…

"START ZE MACHINE!" Yelled Villiam Von TipRău, evil, foreign villain.
He realized then that no one was there in the machine-control box. 
  "Vhy must I do everyting myself!"
  "If you unchain me, I'd help." Said Dr. Smith, who was chained to the machine. 
  "Ha ha. I not zat stupid."
 Von TipRău made his way over to the control box, and turned on the computer that contolled the whole mess. 
  From where Dr. Smith was restrained, he could see the reflection of the start-up screen. "Welcome to Windows" it said. 
   Dr. Smith felt all-of-a-sudden a lot safer. 
    "MWAH HA HA HA!!!!!  Vhen I pull zis svitch,  You vill be brianvashed!  Any last vords?"
"Actually–" 
  "Too bad!"

-=fig. 549: the svitch=-
 
The switch was flipped. 
  A PROBLEM HAS BEEN DETECTED AND WINDOWS HAS SHUT DOWN TO PREVENT DAMAGE TO YOUR COMPUTER.
 THE PROBLEM SEEMS TO BE CAUSED BY THE FOLLOWING FILES: 
  >SWITCH_CODE.SYS< >NEFARIOUS_PLAN.WMV< >WIRING_DIAGRAM.DOC<

Von TipRău's entire system had crashed. 
Capt. Brown chose that moment to reveal to Von TipRău that he had escaped. 
 "But, But, But how?" Stuttered Von TipRău, as a huge hand closed around his throat and he rose into the air.
"Aluminum Handcuffs?  Really?  What, were you on some sort of budget?  I could bend that with one hand.  I didn't before because A. I wasn't in control of my limbs until just now, and 2.  I was worried about the bubbling green stuff you had suspended me over–" 
  "James, Put him down."  Called Dr. Smith "But don't let him out of arms reach."
Capt. Brown dropped Von TipRău onto the metal floor, where he proceeded to bleed and whimper.  "Alright Zachary, how do I get you out?"  
  "There should be a button."

-=fig. 550: the buttons=-

"There's four." 
  "Restart it then choose a red one." 
 Capt. Brown Restarted it. 
  "A red one?" 
   "Yes."
 Capt. Brown chose a red one. 
 Von TipRău started giggling.
  //AUXILIARY PROTOCOLS ENGAGED
  The machine started up again. 
  "JaaAAMES!" Dr. Smith yelled, as he fumbled with his restraints. 
   "Coming Zachary! 
The machine's huge glowing bit, which seemed to be of some importance, glowed brighter. 
  But there were other things too, pointy things, crackling with electricity, that rotated in their fittings until they were pointing at Dr. Smith. 
  Capt. Brown took it at a run. 
   Then he took what would have been a flying tackle if football had been introduced at that time.  

-=fig. 551: the tackle=-
 
Capt. Brown was six-foot-seven, and muscular.  
  Not exactly the sort of person you want launching at you with speed. 
 Dr. Smith flinched. 
  Dr. Smith went down, and the momentum carried his slight figure in a long skid over the riveted floor.
    The machine went off. 
  The light was blinding. 


Dr. Smith examined his day. 
  He had been beaten until he was nearly dead,
   Buried,
   Revived, 
   Drugged, 
   Dropped to the bottom of a shaft, 
   Dropped to the bottom of a different shaft,
   Had an impromptu-lobotomy,  
   Been chained to a brainwashing machine, 
  And now he was being crushed by his only friend. 
  " *arghkt* Can't Breathe!*kughlrr* "
  "What? Oh, sorry."
 "I think you broke one of my ribs!" Dr. Smith said once Capt. Brown stood up. 
  "Want me to reset it?" 
 Dr. Smith remembered the last time Capt. Brown had tried to reset one of Dr. Smith's broken bones.
  "NO!…urrp…It's fine. I prefer a…ACK!…broken rib to a brainwashing…any day." 
   "Good." Said Capt. Brown. "I'll go check on Von TipRău." 
 Von TipRău was gone.  
   Capt. Brown hadn't really expected less. 
  He walked back to where Dr. Smith was suffering. 
  "He's gone." 
  Dr. Smith nodded.  "…urg. I Forgot, …AAAAHHH! THE PAIN!…In Romania, Red Means…URGH…Go…AHRG" 
  Capt. Brown picked Dr. Smith up like he was a child. "Here. lets get you to a proper hospital this time."  
  "ahgrkurglurss"  Agreed Dr. Smith. 
-=-
   "Here now, what's this?"  Asked Abram, Rooftop Patrolman {Third class}
  Quentin Shrugged. 

-=fig. 552: the trap=-

 "It looks like The Doctor was trying to make a clone army, like in the comics." 
  Quentin made a gesture that suggested ambivalence, He didn't read comics. 
 "So you are ze cavalry, eh?  Vell, I vas expectink somting better, to be honest.  But you take vat you can get." 
 They turned around too slow, they fired to late, the clones got them. 
  Soon…
    The machine flashed brilliant. 


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