Tuesday, August 31, 2010

The C.W.A. of Dr. Z. Smith: Episode #67: Hostage

Last Week as You Recall the lovely Ms. Phillips had been taken at knife-point by a desperate french leader who had infiltrated Dr. Smith's house in an effort to learn its secret…

-=fig. 412: hostage=-

"Now Dr. Smith, you will co-operate I think." The french leader said, in the thickest accent. "Call Off your robots of war and release my comrades."   
 Dr. Smith gave the command, and the Jeeves prototypes released the Frenchmen.
  Dr. Smith gave a heavy sigh, "What is it you want?" he asked, sadly. 
   The Chief Frenchman gave a triumphant "Ha!  I Want–" and collapsed.

-=fig. 413: sedated=-

"Jeeves!" Dr. Smith exclaimed, then swung a boot at the Frenchman, who was snoring.  "Why didn't you kill him?" 
 Jeeves carefully stowed the tranquilizer gun, and answered "I Have noticed that people who have been shot become stiff rather quickly, And I computed that Ms. Phillips' neck could not handle any…Stiffness.  On the other claw, people who have been 'tranquilized' become limp instantly."  
 Dr. Smith nodded glumly, looked down at the sleeping form and said "What are he going to do with the body?"   
   Capt. Brown chose this moment to speak up.   "We can't kill him, Zachary.  According to city code 375b, subsection c, 'if your assailant is incapacitated, he is no longer an assailant.'  Sorry Zachary."  
  "What about trespassers?" Dr. Smith asked, hopefully.
   "It's still murder." 
 Dr. Smith uttered a minor expletive. 
   "As a point of interest, what's the rest of 375b?"  Asked Teresa, rubbing her neck.  Capt. Brown shrugged, "Mainly restrictions on building permits.  I'm pretty sure the people who devised the codes just wrote them down as they thought of them, the city used to be a pretty ramshackle operation. "   
  Dr. Smith perked up, he had a thought.
   "Jeeves, Lock this man in a room until he becomes an assailant again."
     "Zachary, we have Jails."  Capt. Brown placed a consoling hand on Dr. Smiths shoulder, "But Enemies of The State usually get the death sentence. Although, of course that's up to a jury of regular people we've picked at random from the street outside the courthouse."
"Isn't it usually 'a jury of his peers'?" asked, Teresa.   Capt. Brown looked at her askance, "His peers are murders and thieves.  Frenchmen, who are invading the city as we speak. I would much prefer it that they were not involved in the court proceedings of this <REDACTED>"  You could tell from his tone that he was…prejudiced against the Unconscious Frenchman.  
  "What about his colleagues?" 
    "I suppose you might, but it would cause huge amounts of paperwork on my part.  Oh look, they've surrendered."   
    Indeed they had,
  Perhaps having seen their leader calmly taken out by man in evening wear who never blinks had unnerved them.
  Perhaps it was the Jeeves prototypes that had grabbed each and every one of them by the scruff of the neck on an unspoken order from Dr. Smith.
   "Take them to the jail, I suppose. " Dr. Smith seemed disappointed, no death to his enemies today.  
  "Buck up, 'pal', they are going into a war-zone."  This seemed to cheer Dr. Smith up.
"What now?"  Asked Teresa.
  "English breakfast, I think.  Jeeves?" 
  "Very good Sir." 
  "Is it safe to come out?" Asked a small voice from the direction of the half-ship.

-=fig. 414: the brazen child=-

 "No!" Boomed Capt. Brown jovially, "But it never is.  Come out anyway."  He gave the brazen child a constituent-winning smile. 

-=fig. 415: dinner=-

"Why is the dead guy the only one with a special chair?" 
Dr. Smith leaned closer to the hapless child, so their conversation could not be overheard "It's where he died of asking stupid questions."
  The child didn't speak up again the entire meal.

-=Best Regards=-
Sir Jacob D. Fredrickson Esq.
Chief Executive Officer of Early Bird Industries, Inc.