Monday, August 31, 2009

Updated Testing!

I Made the whole place 400 Pixels wider, how's the picture size now!


-=Best Regards=-

Sir Jacob D. Fredrickson Esq.

Chief Executive Officer of Early Bird Industries, Inc.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

-=Typewriters=-

I have a 50-year-old {or so} brother portable typewriter.

And I love it, I know what you kids are saying, "can you get the facebooker or squawk on it?"

Nope.

"Well, how about apps? Does it have any cool apps?"

Nope.

"what does it do then?!"

It types.

"that's it?! Does it at least have a spellcheck?"

Nope. But it doesn't use any electricity at all. It only has the one font but it uses that font well. And the whole thing moves when you type! At this point most of the young people wandered off to go do whatever it is young people do. But some of them stayed. And those are the geeks of todays society. Or future geeks. But what I really wanted to say is that if we could harness the power that is untapped on typewriters, we could power a decent sized computer! If only someone could hook a little generator to the platen {or, for you people whose typewriters didn't come with manuals, the bit that holds the paper} I think some decent power could be attained!

Just a thought.












-- Posted From My iPhone

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Testing?



Hey there Folks! I Might use this Title card in an upcoming Weekly adventure, but I need your Input! does it look readable? Please leave a comment with your answer for a chance at fabulous prizes!*

-=Best Regards=-

Sir Jacob D. Fredrickson Esq.

Chief Executive Officer of Early Bird Industries, Inc.

*There are no fabulous prizes.


Sorry.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

The Continuing Weekly Adventures Of Dr. Zachary Smith H.M.O.



This weeks episode is entitled:
Episode #31: Very Worrisome
Alright Everyone, Shh… and I will Take you to our First scene… 

 
-=fig. 128: Alright, Lets Settle in and Get Comfortable=-

Alright, Lets settle in and get comfortable, It Might Be Long Story…
 -=-
The darkness stretches out, far and wide, swallowing any attempts at light, it is not cold, but it is not warm either…
-=-
Two breaths, one quick and frightened, the other calm and not as frightened…
-=-
A click rings out in the darkness.
-=-
*CLICK*
-=fig. 129: *CLICK*=-

The Light: thick and heavy, wobbles out. Fighting against the dark with every Watt it generates…
-=fig. 130: It Reveals Dr. Smith and George=-

It Reveals Dr. Smith and George, wandering in the Dark, Lost as usual.
 -=-
"Dr. Smith?" Asks George, Looking around Quickly searching for the source of that scratching noise… "Hmm...?" Dr. Smith answers, absent-mindedly. "I was just wondering, Dr. Smith, why are we staying near this Lamp Post? Didn't the other ones try to kill us?" "Oh, Er. Well, this one isn't. I am quite curious about these devices, they don't seem to be have any power source to speak of, and the light that comes out is heavy, heavier than usual anyway. See those points floating away? that's the light."

"Oh Dear."

Dr. Smith catches one in his hand, it is soft, and shockingly hot.
"AHHH!" He screams, wildly flapping his hand, trying to get the thing off, it is as sticky as used tape, and soon flies off, into the night. I Say night, but it isn't, really. Just the absence of light.
-=-
A thousand more Clicks, each one bigger than the last, and the darkness scurries away, back to its dismal hole…
-=fig. 131: The Darkness Scurries Away=-

"AH! We're here! Wait, Where are we?" "The Rather Large Blank Spot, George"
-=-

-=fig. 132: "It is Rather Large…"=-

"It is Rather Large…"
The new found light illuminates Three more lamp posts, But none crackling with electricity Except for the one closest to Dr. Smith and George. "You know George, the only threatening-looking Lamp Post is the one next to, You George." By now the Nearest Lamp Post was already accumulating Light Fuzz, it was piling up, and floating away like Half-Full Party Balloons.
-=fig. 133: I Dunno, Its Rather……Pretty.=-

"We Need to get out of Here, George." "I Dunno, it's rather……Pretty.   I think we should stay…"

Episode #32: Don't Trust the Fuzz.

Next week, same time, same channel.
-=Best Regards=-

Sir Jacob D. Fredrickson Esq.

Chief Executive Officer of Early Bird Industries, Inc.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

The Continuing Weekly Adventures… Bonus Feature #1

Bonus Feature! #1
This Coming Tuesday Dr. Smith and George are Escaping from some Mysterious Lamp Posts,  But how do I bring you this Story?  How do I get the Pictures from Reality, to you?  For the answer to that question, let's go over to the rather Large Blank Spot, where the Two Mechanics who designed one of our many specialized cameras, the Spider-Cam are waiting to talk to us.
-=-
Mr. Temple,  Mr. O'Connor, can you hear me?
"…I Can Hear you loud and clear Boss. But Mr. Temple has never been on Television before, so He's Froze up…" Oh, well it's not really television.  But Anyway, can you tell us about the Spider cam?
 
"…Well Boss,  The Spider Cam is what You're lookin' through now, It's, uh, Like a sort of cam'ra on legs…"

"…I took a normal Sized Camera then we got lots'a arms from the Robotical Wholesale Supply Co. and pet 'um on as legs, Then we made a Limb Control box,  progammin' it to register the "Arms" as uh, legs.  I got some Antennae to send the Picture to ya',  Then I Got Mr. Temple to program  the channels into the main Brain part, which sends it to you, Boss.  And then…" So Mr. O'Connor, Sorry for cutting you off, but what you are saying is that These are just Video cameras on Legs?  "…Mostly, But its More'n that…"  Such as?  "…Well, ya'see, It starts out as a camera on legs.  But Once we send One out, Its No Longer a Spider-Cam, It's Sumthin Else.  Once We send'um out, Some stay Spider-cams, but mostly they get broken for one reason er uh'nother, Resultifyin' in em being Sumthin Else, See?…"
Er, No, I'm Sorry I don't.  "…Once One uf them Spider-Cams gets Broken, or needs ta doo sumthin else, Such as flyin around, it adapts.  Here, one of them Spider-Cams was broken, and it Fixed itself, Just when you need'd that shot from the Sky. We gat that picture?  Good, Put it on the Little Screen, there…" 
 "…See dat? It turned Itself innoo A plane, just for yo to get that shot. I have a 'nother one 'ere sommwhere…"
"…Cannyoo See dat?  Its Got Special Climbin' Additions. and you would never have noticed, cuz youse is always on da wrong side!…"
Thank you very Muchfor that Mr. O'Connor, Mr. O'Connor is an alumnus of the Legopolis school of Mechanical engineering.  They don't provide courses on grammar, but he's the Best Darn Mechanic this side of Dr. Smith!


-=Best Regards=-

Sir Jacob D. Fredrickson Esq.

Chief Executive Officer of Early Bird Industries, Inc.


Friday, August 21, 2009

Post No. 209


Hello Folks! And welcome to post #209. I Would like to thank our fine sponsors for providing us with the dough to finance my appearance on the stage tonight, But unfortunately Video costs too much. So we'll just go with text. I have appeared tonight, to say that I am not dead, and that I am just hiding out until the heat blows over.
-=-
Kidding! there is no heat. I just haven't been posting much, and I am sorry.
-=-
Call it a summer vacation.
-=-
-=Best Regards=-

Sir Jacob D. Fredrickson Esq.

Chief Executive Officer of Early Bird Industries, Inc.




Tuesday, August 18, 2009

The Continuing Weekly Adventures Of Dr. Zachary Smith H.M.O.

This weeks episode is entitled:
Episode #27,28, {No wait} 30: Call me the Narrator.
OR
Hello Lamppost, watcha knowin? I Came to See your Skel'tons growin'.
"What?"
I Said, *Ahem* My name is, well, not important, but you can call me the Narrator.
"Oh, O.K. then, Mr. Narrator, what can you tell me, us, about this canyon?"
Nothing. That would be telling. But if you want, I can tell you a good way to get to the Bottom.
"Alright, how?"
*Whisperwhisperwhisper* "OH! you go first George."


"George? Was that A window?"
No, it was The Window.
"Oh. Like The Door?"
Yes.
After reaching the ground Dr. Smith and George survey the Grisly scene that awaits them.
Swing camera………13a Around………13.56 degrees counter-clockwise
Scattered around the desert were the Bleached bones of Thieves, Murderers, Runway slaves, Condemned Stock brokers, Adventurers and One misguided Janitor.
Dr. Smith Notices a nearby Skeleton, and rushes over, applying all his Doctor-y knowledge.
"He's Dead, George."

"Pity about that, Whats in his pack?" "Five bandages, two Fifty-year-old jam sandwiches, and a half-full canteen" "Half-full of what?" "Let's see, oh, here we go. Sand. Just Sand."

What they Don't notice as they go around, GRAVE ROBBING! Stop that George! Dr. Smith!
"Why? it's no good to him anymore. What is he gonna be doing with a nice vintage Canteen?"

Dr. Smith.

Fine.

What they Don't notice as they Go around, Robbing graves, is that, Shh, Dr. Smith might hear, *The Lamposts are gaining. Shh…* "What?" Nothing.
"Hey George!" Dr. Smith yells, completely unaware of the present danger, "What?" George Replies, "Lets go over to that door set into the wall of the Canyon." Huh? Swing around camera 45.6a!


I Didn't even notice that.
"Dr. Smith? did you hear that?"
"AHA! I knew I wasn't crazy! you can hear him too?"
"Hear Who? No, it was a "
…sccrccrcrrrrrrr…
"That."
"Sounded like something, Scraping along…"

"Was that lampost there before?"

"On the grave of Ronald DaVeu! that Lampost Just Moved!"
Heh Heh Heh…
"Did you already know about this Mr. Narrator?"
Dr. Smith?
"Yes?"
Run.
"Ah, Yes."


Just As the get through The Door, A LIghtning Bolt Strikes, just where they were standing, Lets rewind the tape and see where it came from...
Oh Dear..
That's worrisome.

Very Worrisome

Next Week, same time, Same Channel.

-=Best Regards=-

Sir Jacob D. Fredrickson Esq.

Chief Executive Officer of Early Bird Industries, Inc.




Wednesday, August 12, 2009

-=uhhh.... *Snifle* Cough Cough.....Uhhh=-

Sorry about not posting often, I Have A cold, Sneezing, Phlegm in the Throat, the whole bit…
*Cough*
I Think I'll Go Make Some Tea....

*Sneeze*


-=Best Regards=-

Sir Jacob D. Fredrickson Esq.

Chief Executive Officer of Early Bird Industries, Inc.




Tuesday, August 11, 2009

The Continuing Weekly Adventures Of Dr. Zachary Smith H.M.O.



This weeks episode is entitled:
Dr. Zachary Smith, and the Malfunctioning Plot device



Last Week, {As you recall} Dr. Smith and George had fallen down a distant and slightly mobile mountain, suffering minor concussions all around.

Dr. Smith? Dr. Smith's mind presses the giant red 'Restart' button, and as the metaphorical servers fire up, we read ahead in the script, {ooh, darn. there goes next weeks paycheck, well, I didn't see that coming...} Alright, due to a coding error, Dr. Smiths mind fails to reboot, sending this weekly show into a spin of mediocrity, eventually ending with me, the Narrator, out on the street, sharing the lunch of a real estate developer, scrounging in the alleys, eventually Narrating the lives of rats, as they go about their business … Hmm? what? I got the wrong Script? Oh. Well wheres the Right script? Hey, I never noticed that drawer before… I was wondering about that file! I thought it looked awfully suspicious! Alright Folks! Dr. Smith doesn't die and I still have Job! Whoo Hoo! O.K., Dr. Smith awakes, fully functioning and perfectly fine, aside from a slight ringing in his ears, and the suspicion that he is crazy… "Tell me you heard that?" Dr. Smith says, worriedly, "Ha! There it is again! " There what is again?" asks George. "This giant voice! tell me you hear it!?" Ha Ha HA. YOu Are cRazY Dr. SmiTh, "NO I'M NOT!" George looks at him askew, and asks, "you're not what, Dr. Smith? Perhaps you need a lie down? that was an awfully long fall, and sometimes thing get knocked loose…" "No, No, I'm fine. and I'm not crazy."

No one said you were, Zachary.

"That's Dr. Smith to you, Disembodied voice!"
" I suggest we, press on." Suggests George, with the sort of politeness you save for Mentally unstable people, and Bank robbers with a gun pressed to your head.
After walking for a bit, they came to, well, I'll just show you, shall I?

Nah, that doesn't really do it justice, 50% Zoom out please?

There you go.

"How do you think this canyon got here?" Asks George, "I don't see a river." Aha! and he won't, because, well, "Come on, Disembodied Voice, spit it out!" Narrator. "What?"

Call me the Narrator.
Which is the title of next weeks episode!

Same time,

Same Channel.


-=Best Regards=-

Sir Jacob D. Fredrickson Esq.

Chief Executive Officer of Early Bird Industries, Inc.





Monday, August 10, 2009

-=New Theme!=-



Hello.

I have a New theme.

Tell me about it.

Well? Go On, I Don't Bite.

Generally.

I decided to change it, because my other one was too small.
And it was time for a new theme.
And now I have two columns!

W00t!

-=Best Regards=-

Sir Jacob D. Fredrickson Esq.

Chief Executive Officer of Early Bird Industries, Inc.




Tuesday, August 04, 2009

The Continuing Weekly Adventures Of Dr. Zachary Smith H.M.O.

This weeks episode is entitled:
Escape to Mystery Mountain
Last week as you surely recall, Dr. Zachary Smith and George were having tea, when George pulled out a map and explained to Dr. Smith that

"These mountains weren't here yesterday."
"So? This is Human Territory, stuff's always appearing, the physics are different here than in in Legopolis. " George looked shocked, "But that's not proper!" he exclaimed, "It is simply not done!" Dr. Smith rolled his eyes, "Jeeves, call up the Deus Ex Machina co."
"the Deus Ex Machina co. Dr. Smith? Why?" Dr. Smith looked at him with a slight smile, "if we are going to see those mountains, then we are going to need a Plot Device, George, also, I doubt the Narrator has enough patience to get us to the mountains on foot." It's true, I don't have that much patience. Wait, how did he know about me? I thought for sure… Well, never mind.
"DR. SMITH, THE DEUS EX MACHINA CO. SAYS THEY ARE PROCESSING YOUR REQUEST, AND THEY WILL GET BACK TO YOU SHORTLY." "Ah, thank you Jeeves."

zzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…………*-pop-*


"SIR, THE PLOT DEVICE IS HERE."
That's it? a buzzing and a small pop? I was hoping for something more impressive, but no, it's in the script so that's what happens. No imagination with these people. Whatever happened to Ad Libbing? Oh, the plot device, cut to camera, lets see…ah here we are, camera 31b:
You know, it amazing that Dr. Smith hasn't figured it out before, what with 78.3 cameras following him around, trying to predict his next move.
"The Door? I thought that was the territory of Capt. Brown's royal door framers?"
"There was a Hostile Corporate Takeover, and from what I hear a decline in quality. You go first."
Right, I want a long zoom with camera 74a, you, pan around from the east, I don't want to miss anything, you, yes you, station a camera at the top of the mountain, hey! I want that done today, You, why are you here? Never mind, get me a single-shot espresso, black, none of this wimpy "milk" stuff, GO! Camera 31c, are you in position? Good. You, get me an √¶rial view of the situation, lets Move People! we're live in 3…2… what? we're already live? Start sequence! I don't care, we're already live!
…Shortest commercial break I've ever seen…
Perfect, Perfect, on the count of three, 1…2…3… now.
Marvelous.
Alright lads, you did well, go take a coffee break while I wrap this up.
Will Dr. Smith and George awake? Is this how I End The Series?
Am I running out of cliffhangers?
Find out in our next exciting episode:

-=Best Regards=-

Sir Jacob D. Fredrickson Esq.

Chief Executive Officer of Early Bird Industries, Inc.





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