Tuesday, June 22, 2010

The C.W.A. of Dr. Z. Smith: Episode 59: Mr. Bones


Last week as you recall, Dr. Zachary Smith, Capt. James brown, and Charles were hiding in Dr. Smith's spatially impossible house.
 The sound of bombs thundered outside.
  Dr. Smith ran to the door, Capt. Brown wasn't far behind.

-=fig. 382: the parade of refugees=-

"GET IN HERE!" Dr. Smith yelled to children running by.  Their leader, a school teacher by the looks of her, herded them in.
 Once safely in the kitchen the children started to complain loudly, of their stomachs, their feet, their asthma, as large groups of children are apt to do when gathered together.
 "JEEVES!" Dr. Smith yelled over the noise.
 "Right here Sir." Jeeves tried to push his way through the tangle of waist-high bodies, but it was no use. 
 "GOOD! STAY THERE JEEVES, ALL I NEED YOU TO DO IS GET THE KIDS THROUGH THE RED DOOR–"
   This was interrupted by an ear-piercing whistle from the teacher, which itself was followed by silence.
 Pure silence.
   The teacher, a medium-height woman with long brown hair and a leather jacket turned to Dr. Smith and said: "You. In the gray coat. I really have no idea who you are but this seems to be your house.  We can't all stay in the kitchen because there's too many of us, so where are we going?"
 "The…Erm…uh…" Said Dr. Smith, at a loss for words.
   "Through the red door miss." Said Jeeves, A robot unaffected by feminine charms.
    "Thank you…?"
      "Jeeves, miss.  I must warn you, miss, that the red door leads to a maze of corridors and bedroom suites, take any colour door you wish, but remember the red one will always lead you back here."
  The teacher herded her flock into the red door, imparting the rules of the labyrinth unto them as she did so.
  Once the Red door was safely closed behind the group, Capt. Brown clapped Dr. Smith on the back.  "Well, she took the whole 'bigger on the inside' thing rather well I think."   It was only then that Dr. Smith regained control of his mouth.  
 "I think I stopped breathing.  In fact, I'm sure I stopped breathing."
  Capt. Brown gave a guffaw, straight from the belly.  "You were terrified!  I've seen you face death without emotion!  Some girl tries to ask for directions out of your kitchen and you freeze up like a…frozen thing!"
 "She'll be coming back! What do I do?"
   "Relax, look her in the eyes, and listen.  Remember, Don't Panic."
    Dr. Smith took a deep breath.
"Alright Jeeves, what is it."
   Jeeves stopped waving his arm in the air, "Sir, We are missing all of our bacon."
  Dr Smith looked him in the slightly glowing eyes, and asked: "Did you feed it to the skeleton?"
  "No, Sir."
    "How do you know that its missing?"
      "Sir, I keep a barrel of salted and peppered bacon in the larder, and two packages in the icebox, all of which are missing."
         "So we have a tea-drinking bacon-eating ghost on the loose?"
           "It would appear so Sir although ectoplasmic apparitions are highly unlikely."
  It was then that a cryptic message crackled in form a radio hidden somewhere about Capt. Brown's person: "…FG to CB, H1 H2 H3 K39 439."  Capt. Brown fished his coat off its hook and grabbed his hat from the table. "Zachary, it seems they need me at the forward front.  Is it alright if we use this house as a bomb shelter?"
   Dr. Smith nodded, "Yes.  I'm Pretty sure we have force fields."
        "Good.  Charles is staying here, keep whats-her-name and her wards safe, and don't panic, It's not as if she's a carnivorous beast.  Charles."  He gave a curt wave, and was out the door.

-=fig. 383: the forward front=-
"I'm glad you're here sir!"  The eager shako-wearing soldier said.  Capt. Brown grizzled warrior that he was, just looked dramatically into the sunset, formulating strategy.
 The french forces pushed the barricade, a red car, a foot closer.
-=-
Charles walked the perimiter of the kitchen quietly.
 Well, as quietly as a ton of ogre can.
  "Mr. Doctor?"
    "Yes Charles?"
     "If its any consolation, she scares the living daylights out of me too."
      "Charles, did you throw that man, shot-put style, to expedite our escape from the french?"
        "That I did Mr. Doctor."
   Dr. Smith sized up Charles, he was twice as big as a normal man, and four times as wide.  He can throw someone, one-armed more than a hundred feet, and he was scared living-daylights free by Dr. Smith's latest house guest.



-=Best Regards=-
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Sir Jacob D. Fredrickson Esq.
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Chief Executive Officer of Early Bird Industries, Inc.
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