Tuesday, November 30, 2010

The C.W.A. of Dr. Z. Smith: Episode #79: Pantryspace

Last Week as you recall…

Jeeves and Ms. Teresa Phillips had decided to  explore the pantry, in an effort to see where all these cats had come from.

They had been walking for four hours when Ms. Teresa found a door.

-=fig. 559: the door in back of the pantry=-

"Jeeves, " she said. "I have found the other side of the pantry."
  "Very good miss.  Is there any indication as to why we are suddenly infested with furry beasts?"
  "It's a pet shop!"

-=fig. 560: pet shop=-

"Well. That explains quite a bit."  Said Jeeves, as he turned to walk back to the main house.
  "But don't you want to know why there's a pet shop at back of your pantry?" Goaded Ms. Teresa Philips.
This hadn't occurred to Jeeves, because as a robot he had very little capacity for scientific discovery.
 He was about to relay this information to Ms. Teresa Phillips, but she was gone.
   And the door was ajar.
    That is to say, it was open.
 Dr. Smith had expressly told Jeeves that he was not to let any harm come to Ms. Teresa Phillips, and who knows what terrors await behind that door? 
 Jeeves ran into the pet shop, to discover Ms. Teresa Phillips in a conversation with the pet shop owner, a conversation he was not privy to, because he didn't speak Russian.
  That was when the pet shop owner handed Ms. Phillips something.
  "What did he give you, Ms. Phillips?" Jeeves asked, as they pretended to examine a display of monkeys.
   "An industrial strength EMP."
    "Oh, that's ni–"

-=fig. 561: sick bed=-

"That's the last thing that I remember, Sir, before I woke up in this…Russian prison."
 Dr. Smith, with rapt attention, asked the obvious question.  "How did you escape?"
  "That's what I have been trying to tell you for days now, Sir, I didn't escape."
 Dr. Smith was confused.  "Ha, ha.  Very funny Jeeves."
   "I suppose it is, Sir, to someone who's taste in humour runs towards the particularly morbid, but Sir, I'M NOT LAUGHING."
   "But if you are in Russia, how can you be here?"
 "Oh, this.  I whipped this up one day, it was easy, I already had the plans.  This is a perfect copy of me, but wired up to be a telepresence unit, so that even if I were, say, captured by the Russians, you may never have to go without your Tea, Sir. "
  Dr. Smith knew what he had to do, the doctors had said he was getting better, and he couldn't let the biggest enemy of the grand nation of Legopolis have the advanced technology he had created in Jeeves, so he tried to stand up.

  He stared at where the ceiling would be if the room had had a ceiling.
   "Jeeves, Help me off the ground."
   "Very good Sir.  Sir, If I may, I have a device ready for just this occasion."
  Jeeves helped Dr. Smith into his device.
   "What is this?"
   "I call it a 'Wheeled Chair'.  It was designed so that invalids such as yourself may perambulate, just like normal people."
   "Gee, thanks."
    "I'm glad you like it Sir."
          "Fetch my hat. We're going out."
-=fig. 562: wheeled chair=-

"I'm afraid I can't come with you, Sir."
  "What? Why not!"
   "Sir, If I could have used this…Other Body to rescue myself, do you not think that I would have done it by now?"
  Dr. Smith had to concede that Jeeves had a point.  Not a very satisfying point, but a point nonetheless.
  "So… I guess I'll go rescue you, by myself."
    "Very Good Sir."