Tuesday, December 14, 2010

The C.W.A. of Dr. Z. Smith: Episode #81: Technical Support

Last Week As You Recall…

"You may take blindfolds off now."
 "Where are we?" asked Dr. Smith, wobbling on his newly working legs.
  "Is good question.  One I am not going to be answering."
   They were in a snowy, cold place.
     Dr. Smith's first guess was Russia.

-=565: bunker=-

   "One thing I'd just like to say is that you have a strange way of asking for help,  Ruskanik.  Blindfolding a sick man and me for days without food or water and then withholding where we are after all that?  What do you even want from us anyway?"   Questioned Capt. Brown angrily, As the mayor he felt that no one had the right to do this sort of thing to him.  He was wrong.
 The Russian, {whose name was Boris} didn't like Capt. Brown's tone. Or his derogatory name for Russians. "You listen легополио You just thank lucky star we not kill you both when we had chance to.  For days, nothing but complaining and noise! Is lucky you are important or you would be dead.  Follow me." 
 They followed him into the bunker, it was dark.
   And cramped.
     And being covered in snow made it wet inside.
  Dr. Smith, in between falling down because his legs wouldn't obey him, was having flashbacks to his time spent in the undercity of Legopolis.
  The smell of wet Russian didn't help any.
-=566: holding chamber=-

"…Nice place you have here." Ventured Dr. Smith.
  The assembled Russians stared.
   Dr. Smith wondered if any of them recognized him, then dissmissed that thought because the last time he had been in Russia it had been nowhere near here.
      Capt. Brown was working his way through the 246 Calming Steps To Not Killing Them that his Psychiatrist had recommended. 
        He was up to 245: 'Try Killing them with your Mind'
 It wasn't working.
  "Sorry to keep you waiting Gentlemen, I wanted you to meet our head Of Robotic Servant Acquisitions,  Ms. Teresa Phillips. "  The Speaker backed away quietly but quickly.  
  Ms. Teresa Phillips {If that is her real name} Strolled in front of the glass cage pushed against one wall.  "Good to See you all again." She said.
   "So you're head of Robotic servant Acquisitions," Growled Capt. Brown, "Get a lot of work do you?"
   "Actually, Yes.  I Apologise for our treatment of you both, but we couldn't have you guessing why we brought you here, now could we?"
     "I Already know."  Claimed Dr. Smith.
        "Know what?"
          "Why you brought us here.  Jeeves is exporting a lot of data to somewhere far away, but close, and you can't get him to move or respond in any way, right?  How do I interface to him through his containment system?"
   Ms. Teresa Phillips has Shocked, Her face showed it.
    Capt. Brown Leaned in conspiratorially and said with a quick wink and a big grin; "He's pretty clever, I'd do what he says."
  She gestured vaguely to the blinking lights, buttons and levers spread across the room.  "All that keeps him in, but you talk to the cell using the keyboard."
  The keyboard turned out to be a beat up Remington wired into the wall.
    Dr. Smith typed: Hi Jeeves, I'm here.
 Nothing responded.
Dr. Smith Typed:
     @Jeeves, $Force.Wakeup; var. #Jeeves:
If var. #Jeeves=Wake.Up $Shutdown; var. #Jeeves.Tele.Com.Unit Authcode=#876 =/startstart=00/ If all.that=yes Order; Jeeves.Prime.Directive.1

Dr. Smith figured that ought to do it.  Even if all this machine was doing was printing these commands out on the other side of the glass this would wake Jeeves up,  shut down the telecom unit, and force Jeeves to make tea.
   "Is there any way to insert tea leaves, one liter of water and a cup into the containment unit?" asked Dr. Smith. 
"Is that Crucial to his recovery?" Replied Ms. Teresa Phillips
Ms. Teresa Phillips snapped her fingers and barked things in Russian.
  Out of a tube inside the glass cage dropped the things Dr. Smith had requested.
Jeeves awoke.
 Actually, he was playing a high C, but it sounded like screaming.
  He changed pitch, went higher.
   The glass broke.
    Jeeves failed to escape.
 The Russians laughed.  "What?" Said a big one, "You think can escape just by break glass?  What you think buttons and levers do?  They keep you in, is what they do."
   Just outside of where the glass used to be was a force-field, an electric one.
    Filled with pain.
Jeeves had tried to jump out of his prison, but had gotten shocked, fell on the floor of the cage, twitching.
"Doctor Smith, We expect more of you."
 "But…I didn't–" 
  "Уведите его."
The Big Russian seemed to have some semblance of authority, because the guards obeyed him. 
    "Wait!" Boomed Capt. Brown, "If He says He didn't do anything, He didn't do anything."
That Didn't work.
They Shivered in a much more traditional prison. 
  "Just like old times, eh James?" 
    "Yes, but I don't think your dad is hiding in this secret Russian place, Zachary."