Tuesday, August 3, 2010

The C.W.A. of Dr. Z. Smith: Episode #63: Fierté Patriotique


A couple of Weeks ago, as you recall…
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This Was the big day, they one they had all been waiting for.
The Little explosive awaited eagerly in the little wooden box, awaiting some excitement. 
  Finally.
Up till now The Little Explosives short life had been increasingly dull, one tedium after another.
Today promised excitement, today was the day.  Every other explosive in the box was envious of The Little Explosive's luck, hand-picked for a special mission.  
  A flight in an æroplane!  
The Little Explosive was flung, not unkindly, off the starboard bow of the æroplane.
  A chance for ærobatic manœvering!

-=fig. 394: the little explosive finds its purpose=-
A chance gust of sympathetic wind helped The Little Explosive in it's final maœvering.
  My, the Ground is getting close…I wonder if I have a parachute…
By the time The Little Explosive realized what was happening, it was much too late.

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The Explosion rocked the capitol building, it not only rocked it but exploded several parts of it as well.  
  This would not have been much of a problem if The Illustrious Captain James Brown, mayor of Legopolis, had not been on the roof at that exact moment.
  Dr. Zachary Smith was also there, along with the majority of the L.C.R.P.D, {Legopolis City Rooftop Police Department} and assorted members of the Legopolis City Border patrol.

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Dr. Smith woke in a room on fire.   These looked to be the mayoral chambers, you could tell by the ornate woodwork.   In fact, the whole room seemed to be made of wood, which in retrospect may not have been the best of ideas.  The last thing Dr. Smith remembered before waking up here was being on the roof, enjoying the scenery.
  It occurred to Dr. Smith that they might have been the subjects of a bombing.
  Over the roar of burning timber, Dr. Smith could hear two distinct cries for help, the deep, basso voce "HELP!" of Capt. Brown, and the higher-pitched, mezzo-soprano "HEEELP!"  Of Teresa Phillips.  Dr. Smith decided to help Teresa first, because if Capt. Brown was calling for help it would require at least two people to get him out.
 She was trapped under an unburnt log.
  "Hello.  Is the log crushing you?"  Dr. Smith asked, with as much worry as he could muster.
    "No, just pinning me down.  What happened?"
     "We were bombed.  I'll lift and you get out from under it.  On 3."
Dr. Smith lifted, and Teresa wriggled out.

-=fig. 394: the mayoral chambers=-
Dr. Smith called out for Capt. Brown "JAMES!  WHERE ARE YOU?"  There was a faint scrabbling, a crash, and a much more distinct "HELP!"  From Capt. Brown,  and now that Dr. Smith was paying attention, he could tell where it was coming from.   "Ms. Phillips, Get down."   Teresa, wondering why, carefully laid down on the sooty floor.  Dr. Smith picked up a hefty-looking chunk of wood and threw it forcefully at the window in the corner,  he then flung himself to the ground and narrowly missed the fireball that was caused by the sudden influx of flammable air.
 The room was now burning faster, and they needed to escape.
 Dr. Smith led Teresa to the newly-opened window, and he leaned out.

-=fig. 395: just hanging=-

  "Hi James!"  Dr. Smith yelled amiably to the dangling brown figure,
  "ZACHARY!"  Capt. Brown didn't yell this with the mellifluous tone reserved for old friends, but instead with the urgent tone of a man dangling three stories above concrete tile.   "Alright Zachary, I need you to get me down, Zachary, got it Zachary?"
 Something occurred to Dr. Smith,
"You know, you're using my name an awful lot, James."
"Because It's very important that you listen to me , Zachary.  Buddy."
"Don't worry James, I'll get you down."  Dr. Smith thought for a second,  "You know James, I really don't know how to get you down.  But don't panic.  James, you're captain of the rooftop police, Don't you have…Procedures for this?"
  "The Building's on fire, I can't get in through any of the windows and my hand hold is slippery due…to birds.  So NO!"  Capt. Brown seemed to be getting angry, so Dr. Smith ducked back inside.  Teresa reminded him that their table was the only thing not on fire.
  Dr. Smith ducked back outside.   "You just Keep…'Hanging In There', James."  Dr. Smith chuckled privately at his weak pun.   "Ms. Phillips, Would you care to join me on the balcony?"
-=fig. 396: the balcony=-
 "This isn't a good idea."  Teresa said as the half-table wobbled.
 "Would you rather we got roasted in a wooden wood-fire oven?" Dr. Smith snapped, he didn't like having holes poked in his plans.  "Now James, just find a handhold and lower yourself down, Teresa will…try to catch you if you fall. 
 "There are no handholds, Zachary.  I designed the building like this on purpose, to protect me from assassination.  'Dangerous to climb down, Impossible to climb up.' That was my motto, back when I had a real job." If was then that the increasingly slippery ornamental statuette 'gave up the ghost.'
   Capt. Brown fell, but as he fell he managed to hit Teresa, and the combined weight of both of them shot Dr. Smith up in the air, for he was the only counter-weight at the other side of this see-saw,  not by design but by the fact that he hadn't found any unburnt wood to counter-balance the situation.   It turns out there wasn't much air to be shot into, and Dr. Smith smacked into the ceiling.
  Teresa and Capt. Brown had quite suddenly found them selves falling to the tile below.
  Dr. Smith smacking into the ceiling had weakened the structure past where it could sustain itself, and the upper floor came crashing into the floor where Dr. Smith was sitting.  Dr. Smith saw this happening, and did the only thing he could:

-=fig. 397: jump=-





-=Best Regards=-
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Sir Jacob D. Fredrickson Esq.
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Chief Executive Officer of Early Bird Industries, Inc.
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