The Continuing Weekly adventures of Dr. Zachary Smith:
Episode 44: Upon the Matter of S.N.O.W.
"Can we stop soon?" Rings out a voice, from below. "We've been walking for days! It's all right for you two, you've got a flying car!" There were nods, and murmurs of dissent from the majority of the Legopolis City Rooftop Police, L.C.R.P., for short. Capt. Brown, who was driving, took this message to heart, and called out the following order: "All Right ya wusses! We'll Pull over and make camp! what say you?" There were general cheers, and hearty agreements.
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| -=fig. 310: No Sign of him anywhere=- |
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As most of the team makes a fire to warm their frozen extremities, Dr. Smith walks to the edge of the cave they had chosen as a prime camp area, and pulls out a strange device, quite a bit like binoculars. He scans the area with it and mutters to himself, "Curse it! Not a sign of him anywhere." He sighs, and replaces the device in his briefcase. "What was that?" asks Capt. Brown, who had come up behind Dr. Smith quite silently after being pushed out his seat near the fire by a lesser member of the L.C.R.P. "Oh! Hello James,"–For this is his name–"It's a Homing Electronic Interference Scanning Telemeter." Capt. Brown took a moment to work out the acronym in his head. "Want me to tell you?" asks Dr. Smith, with a glint in his eye. "No, no, I'd like to work it out myself. H-E-I-S-T, Heist? You named it Heist?" "Yep!" "Well what does it do?" Dr Smith explains, "It searches the area for a specific electronic signal, for example, Jeeves', see I turn the dial here and–" Before he could finish his sentence the cave is filled with a terrific rumbling! Dr. Smith, quick thinker that he is, stood still with his mouth open, while Capt. Brown, quick
actor that
he is, barked out orders. "CAVE IN! EVERYBODY OUT!" While everyone scrambles towards the cave entrance, our sight goes to the back wall, where something is breaking through.
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| -=fig. 311: a possible cave-in=- |
As the machine finishes destroying the wall, we zoom to its roof, where a periscope is poking its way through the built up snow…
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| -=fig. 312: the periscope=- |
We Move through said periscope, to see what the Watcher on the other side sees.
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| -=fig. 313: what the watcher sees=- |
The Watcher sees, The Watcher wonders, could it be? The Watcher Decides. It is. The Watcher Swears, The Watcher calls to his superior. We Return to Dr. Smith.
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| -=fig. 314: is it safe yet?=- |
"Is it safe yet?" asks Dr. Smith, warily. Capt. Brown shakes his head, "I don't think so, wait here." He then crawls on all fours back into the cave, Hoping to check the stability of the walls. At the back wall, two blue figures are maneuvering their way through the hole created by the digging machine.
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| -=fig. 315: two blue figures=- |
The mustachioed one, quite obviously the superior, says to the grimier one, "You sure it was him?" the Grimier one replies, "Quite, sir. it could be no one else but Dr. Smith" "Was anyone with him?" "Captain Brown, Sir." "Ah, well if the Honorable Captain Brown is accompanying him, we must be cordial."
-=-
We return to Capt. Brown, as he makes his way to the back wall. He catches sight of our two blue figures, and a smile breaks out on his nearly frozen face. "Zachary!" He calls, quite obviously excited. "Zachary! Come quick!" By the time Dr. Smith gets there, Capt. Brown is shaking the hands of the blue men. "Zachary! Oh good, you made it. This is S.N.O.W." Dr. Smith is slightly confused. 'Yes James, this is snow. In case you haven't noticed, the whole country is snow around these parts. Snow, and ice." Capt. Brown laughs. "No Zachary! S.N.O.W.! Secret Northern Observers and Watchers! They're a recon team I sent up here into the frozen north ages ago! I sent a regiment up here to check on you guys once and they never returned, I thought that S.N.O.W was dead."
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| -=fig. 316: shaking hands with S.N.O.W.=- |
"I Assure you sir, we are quite alive." Says the mustachioed one, shaking Capt. Brown's hand. "We kept your regiment, we needed the help in building our new base. It's not much, but it's home." "Well I would love to see it! " The two S.N.O.W. operatives share a quick glance, "Just You?" Asks the mustachioed one. "Well, If there's room I'd like to bring my police force." "Of Course! Bring them along! The more the merrier!" "And Dr. Smith here?" "Of Course!"
-=-
It Takes awhile to mobilize a lot of people, and in a spare moment Dr. Smith was examining the digger the two S.N.O.W. operatives had used to so rudely intrude on the L.C.R.P. camp.
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| -=fig. 317: examining the digger=- |
As Dr. Smith examined the machine, a small voice in the back of his head, an intern, if you will, in the grand multinational corporation that is Dr. Smith's brain, spoke up. But it was such a small voice that Dr. Smith didn't even register it on anything other than a subconscious level. The small voice Yelled, tried to make itself heard! But it was no good. All it did was leave Dr. Smith with the nagging feeling that he had forgotten something. After awhile the team was ready to go, and go they did. Through a complicated series of tunnels in the snow to the underground camp of S.N.O.W.
-=-
As Charles Wilhelm O'gre trudges along in the cold, wet, gloom, he contemplates life in general, how some folks are born warm-blooded, like Mr. Doctor Smith, and how some people, like himself, are born with a more silicon-based physiology. One of the more interesting facts of the Ogre species is that their brains actually work better the colder they are. So Mr. Charles Wilhelm O'gre's brain was practically whizzing along in this -50° snow-covered netherworld. Whereas everyone else's brain was mainly focused on keeping their fingers from freezing off. As he walked along enjoying the way his brain felt in his rocky head, he solved several math problems, decided that, in point if fact, both the Jacobski's and the Evolutionists are wrong, and that MiniFigures are actually manufactured in a factory, and that the chicken came first. But only after it was genetically engineered by aliens and imported to the planet. As he was contemplating these deep thoughts that he would eventually forget once he warmed up, a crunch rang out from under his foot. He looked down. It appeared to be a white pith helmet, but upon further inspection it turned out to be a man dressed all in white, embedded deep into the snow. Charles, Ever the gentleman, picked the poor man up and asked him his name.
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| -=fig. 318: understandably frightened out of his mind=- |
He was understandably frightened, as any sensible person would be, for you see, Ogres, besides thinking better in the cold, are huge. And they have no sense of personal space. The poor man was six feet off the ground, and inches from Mr. O'gre's terrifying, but well brushed, fangs. Charles tried to look friendly. " 'oo are you then?" The man just trembled.
There is nothing more terrifying than an Ogre trying to look friendly. You can't smile without lips, and in Mr. O'gre's case he just managed to expose a lot of sharp teeth. "
eep!" Was all the poor fellow could get out. "Well! 'ello then Mr. Eep! My name's Charles. Ha ha ha!" If a a smiling Ogre's bad, A laughing Ogre's possibly worse. Why? Because When an Ogre laughs you can see all the way down his throat.
It was at this point the poor chap passed out.
-=-
He awoke to a man in a brown fedora staring at him intently.
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| -=fig. 319: Doctor Smith=- |
The Poor Man groaned. "It's all right, you just rest. " Dr. smith said in a whisper. "RELAX! YOU DIDN"T KILL 'IM CHARLES!" He yelled over his shoulder. "Oim intensely relieved Mr. Doctor Smith." Charles replied. The stricken man spoke: "
Что за чертовщина происходит?" "Ah, you speak Russian mine friend?" replied Dr. Smith, in Russian. "Why did monster to attack me?" Dr. Smith thought about this one. "I think it was all big missed understanding, what your name, mine friend?" "Podzemnyĭ zhitelʹ " "Well mister Podzemnyĭ zhitelʹ you just relax, I'm going to see why we've stopped."
As Dr. Smith climbed off the Digger, Capt. Brown intercepted him. "I didn't know you spoke Russian Zachary." Capt. Brown said, in a low voice. "There's a lot you don't know about me James, like–" it was then that the small voice in Dr. Smith's mind made itself heard. "–Like My Dad Made!–"He fought to keep his voice low, as the excitement of finally remembering the tiny bit of information that had been bothering him all day engulfed him–" My father invented this machine!" Capt. Brown is understandably confused, and asks: "Your father was an inventor too?" "No, No. He was a patent clerk. But one day he had this brilliant idea, the higher-ups approved it, and off he went. It was originally for mining for oil, but it got sent up with–" "S.N.O.W" Capt. brown interrupted, the dawn of recognition breaking over his face– "I sent S.N.O.W. with a digging machine, I Didn't know the inventor came with it though." "He wanted to make sure it worked." Dr. Smith said, in an off hand way. "You Know what this means don't you James?" Dr. Smith said, suddenly intent, "Dad's up here someplace!"
Join us next week for our next exciting episode:
Episode #45: Zachary Morton Smith
-=Best Regards=-
•
Sir Jacob D. Fredrickson Esq.
Chief Executive Officer of Early Bird Industries, Inc.
