Tuesday, July 07, 2009

The Continuing Weekly Adventures Of Dr. Zachary Smith H.M.O.

Today's Episode:
Nope, Not Conspicuous At All.

I know what you are wondering, and yes, I did skip an entire week of the Continuing Adventures.

Lets Call It A "Hiatus".

But we are now back, and better than, er, Last Week!

Week Before Last, as you surely recall, Dr. Zachary Smith, Humanologist was exploring an abandoned Fortress, Perhaps of DOOM, But at this point it seems a bit unlikely. Dr. Smith, having set up camp on the upper levels of the Fortress, Decides to venture into the lower bowels of the Mysterious Land…

But What's this?
Dear Dr. Smith, as a Highly Respected Pillar of the Community, {At this Dr. Smith Shudders. I mean really, Who wants to be an upstanding Pillar of the Community? Where's the Fun In That?} You {as a matter of course,} know me. You know, Capt. Brown? The Mayor? Aha! I see the light of vague recognition dawning upon your face! Anyway, Back to business. The reason I have sent you this letter is, uh, what was it? oh! yes! now I remember, We've Moved your house to an inconspicuous location somewhere near your current location. I told the lads down in Space Management {For those of you who don't know, Space Management literally manages space, bending it and twisting it to the needs of the current tyrannical ruler, Capt. Brown. Time Management is in the next office over.} to put your house where no human would ever think to look for a house, Using your Latest publication: "Dr. Zachary Smith's Guide to human beliefs and expectations" as a guide.

Hope to be working with you again soon,

Capt. James Brown. Despot.

Dr. Smith's mind raced, ran out of breath, gasped for air, and collapsed, Spilling its contents all over the polished marble steps of the Gates of Reason. How did this letter get taped to my Fedora? If Capt. Brown can go around taping things to peoples hats, couldn't he arrange a meeting? Or a phone call even? What did Capt. Brown mean when he said "We've Moved your house"? Did he really? Where are my socks? How did my watch get over there? Capt. Brown couldn't really move an entire house……could he?

Guess that answers that question.
Dr. Smith's mind hops up, collecting itself. It then bends down to gather up its precious cargo, and hurries through the Gates of Reason, Intent on rejoining Dr. Smith, and hoping no one noticed the little……incident. Dr. Smith Made his way, Carefully, towards his house, keeping a careful eye out for things like: Lighting Bolts, Giant Frogs, Strange cosmic occurrences that seem to generally accompany such things as a house suddenly appearing out of a engineered fold in the fabric of time and space.

Nothing happened.

Suddenly a voice wavers out of the house, strangely flat, as if spoken by some inhuman creature…


Join us next week for our next exciting episode, entitled:

One Lump, Or Two?

-=Best Regards=-

Sir Jacob D. Fredrickson Esq.

Chief Executive Officer of Early Bird Industries, Inc.

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And have a nice rest–of–your–day you guys.