Last Week as You recall,
Dr. Smith managed to get the sewer-cover open, and climbed down the ladder concealed inside.
This was made doubly difficult by the fact his limbs weren't obeying him.
Climbing,
Falling.
Falling!
Argh.
Dr. Smith lay on the cold metal floor, this was as good as place as any to recoup.
-=fig. 545: recuperation=- |
The homeless men thought so as well.
In too much pain to move, he watched from inside his head as they stole his hat, jacket, and looked for his wallet.
Little did they know he didn't carry a wallet.
Eventually they wandered off, squabbling among themselves for the rights to the spoils.
Several of them seemed to be carrying on a pretty good argument alone.
Dr. Smith looked around, there usually was a—There.
He pulled himself up on the rungs of the ladder and whacked at the first-aid box mounted to the wall until it opened. Inside was a small bottle of antiseptic, half a roll of bandages and a mutli-bladed pocket knife. {For on-the-spot amputations.}
The box seemed to have been stocked by people who had never needed a first-aid kit, and whose medical experience stopped at aspirin.
None of this was going to help, really, but he needed to stop the bleeding.
If it were just his nose bleeding, this wouldn't be a problem.
If his brain was bleeding too, which is what he suspected, this was going to be slightly more difficult.
Mainly because if his brain was bleeding the blood was in danger of building up and compressing his cranium, which is very, very dangerous.
-=-
Dr. Smith relaxed.
It had been difficult, be he had done it.
It had been disgusting, but he had done it. Nothing had healed yet, but at least his brain was no longer in danger of being compressed by blood build-up.
Let's just say, he had installed a release valve of sorts.
Blunt-forced trauma was so bothersome, and Dr. Smith looked more like a zombie than he ever had before.
Which was saying something.
BANG!
Dr. Smith Swore, but quietly. They must have followed him down here!
He pulled himself gradually through Dr. Smith-sized tunnels until he thought he was sufficiently far away from his point of entry.
The spot he chose to rest was cold, and wet.
But It was also dark, and private.
The air had a sharp, harsh smell, almost like…
Uranium?
-=-
-=fig. 546: the worst assignment ever=- |
Abram {Rooftop Patrolman, Third Class} swore as he hit his head on yet another pipe.
He hated being enclosed like this, he longed for the freedom of the rooftops, the fresh-ish air, the light.
But his partner, {Quentin, Rooftop Sniper Third Class} was having an even harder time.
"Q, I told you not to bring that rifle. 'It'll only get in the way' I said, And have you had a chance to use it? No. There's no room!"
Quentin couldn't reply, Not only because he wasn't going to sink to Abram's level, {it would only encourage him,} but also because he was mute. This had never interfered with his job before, snipers aren't big talkers regardless, but down here underground a lack of auditory communication could be a problem.
And Abram's constant talking was beginning to get on his nerves.
Movement.
BANG!
Quentin lowered his gun, it had only been one of the many homeless men who roam the sewers.
Good thing he had only winged it.
"I take it back Q, If that had been our quarry we would have been heroes. Next time though, give me some warning, eh?"
-=-
The spot he chose to rest was cold, and wet.
But It was also dark, and private.
The air had a sharp, harsh smell, almost like…
Uranium?
-=fig. 547: the captain's predicament=- |
James!
Dr. Smith almost shouted, then he remembered himself.
The green liquid {which Dr. Smith suspected was radioactive} bubbled and spit, The chain Capt. Brown was hooked to gradually lowered, and somewhere close-by a Madman laughed maniacally.
Dr. Smith had to do something, Capt. Brown was getting lower by the second, and the laughing wouldn't stop.
He peeked his head into the room.
That was his first mistake.
"Ah! Doctor Smith! How kind of you to join us! I vas expectink you. Zacharice?"
Dr. Smith found himself being lifted to his feet and frogmarched by…himself?
Or to be exact, two himselfs.
At this point, nothing was all that surprising.
"Put him in…Ze Machine."
"Hi Zachary!" Capt. Brown said, his face lighting up.
"Hi James. Just like old times, huh?"
"Yeah. Hey, remember that time we were in—"
"ENOUGH! I Am not STUPID! I know that you haf some kind of secret code based unt your previous adventures! No more talking!"
-=fig. 548: in the machine=- |
"Whatever you say, Doc." Capt. Brown said with a grin.
"Unt Stop Smiling! It is drivink me crazy. So, I assume you vant to know my evil plan, Yes? Don't answer. Vell, it is this. I haf already made ze clones of you Doctor Smith, But zey are stupid. I need your Superior Intelligence {Superior yet still subordinate to mine, you understand} And vith zis new-unt-improved mind-scrubbing machine, I vill do just that. Unt vhen I yam done, your brain vill match your appearence unt you vil be nothink but a mindless Zombie! A slave to mine evil plots. Mwah Ha ha HA HA HA HA!!!!! "
Dr. Smith made a note of the five Exclamation Points. "But what about the Captain?" Dr. Smith asked, "You just going to melt him?"
"Of Course not! Zat vhas just a roos to get you in ze door! A city vithout it's leader falls into ze kaos, So he vill be found, alive unt vell, But he vill be brianvashed unt completely unter mine control!!! Mwah Ha HA HA!!!"
Dr. Smith saw the opportunity coming up, sighed, and said it. "You fiend. You'll never get away with it."
"Unt vhy Not!?"
"Because as we speak, the sewers are being flooded, not with sewage, but with the entire body of the Legopolis City rooftop police force, it is only a matter of time until they find me, and by extension, you."
"I find zat hard to belief."
"Would you believe Half the Legopolis City Rooftop police force?"
"No."
"The sniper section?"
"No."
"An angry Boy Scout?"
"No."
"An Angry…Girl Scout?"
"Doctor Smith, no von knows you are here, unt even if zey did, zese tunnels stretch for miles, Under ze whole city! By ze time your imaginary saviors find us, My plan vill have already been put into effect."
Dr. Smith couldn't help it, he made another mistake.
"Not if you keep monoulging like this!"
"Zat is very right. START ZE MACHINE!"
I have two favorite parts that I think are funny. No, I thought more parts were funny. No, just two!!!!!
ReplyDelete(Get it?) LOL
I had quite a lot of fun with this one, villain accents are the most fun things to write, And secret underground lairs are the most fun to light.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I have always believed That Five Exclamation points is a sure sign of madness. {And by 'always' I mean after I read Mr. Pratchett's 'Maskerade' p. 1997}
What was your other favourite part?
—Jacob
The part where the bums were arguing with themselves. Hehe.
ReplyDeleteOh!
ReplyDeleteI spent a good hour puzzling over what you meant, but now you explain it it's quite obvious.
You know, I wrote the thing so I should have recognised it immediately.
Ha ha.
—Jacob