-=A Poster for Dr. Smith=-

Dr. Zachary Smith, that is!
This retro-style poster {Made by Me} is available Free Of Charge! As long as you Don't make any money off it. If you need a neat decoration for your Website, Blog, or anywhere really, just download this picture!

Also, if you are a fan of Dr. Smith, and never want to miss another show, hang it in your Home, or office, to remind you to wake up earlier next time.

-=Best Regards=-

•

Sir Jacob D. Fredrickson Esq.

Chief Executive Officer of Early Bird Industries, Inc.

-=Yet Another Signature=-

Yes folks, It's yet another signature!
This one I quite like,

-=Best Regards=-

•

Sir Jacob D. Fredrickson Esq.

Chief Executive Officer of Early Bird Industries, Inc.

-=Signature=-

I am testing out a new signature, What do you think?

•

-=Best Regards=-

• 

 

Sir Jacob D. Fredrickson Esq.

Chief Executive Officer of Early Bird Industries, Inc.

-=Stamp=-

This is a Close-up of the stamp, just by itself. Why? because I am really quite proud of it, and I felt that it got hidden underneath all that other stuff.

-=Best Regards=-

•

Sir Jacob D. Fredrickson Esq.

Chief Executive Officer of Early Bird Industries, Inc.

-=New Insignia!=-

Isn't it Great? it's a combination of my initials, {J.D.F.} and a neat flying-type design! It reminds me of some sort of postal seal… Hm, that reminds me, I think I have a letter here, somewhere, Capital example of the JakobRikeILuften postal system, it arrived at my desk a mere three days after sending!

Wait a minute, says here its only from Engineering, and that's only down the hall and around the corner!

-=Best Regards=-

•

Sir Jacob D. Fredrickson Esq.

Chief Executive Officer of Early Bird Industries, Inc.

The Continuing Weekly Adventures Of Dr. Zachary Smith H.M.O.

Today's Episode:
Nope, Not Conspicuous At All.

I know what you are wondering, and yes, I did skip an entire week of the Continuing Adventures.

Lets Call It A "Hiatus".

But we are now back, and better than, er, Last Week!

Week Before Last, as you surely recall, Dr. Zachary Smith, Humanologist was exploring an abandoned Fortress, Perhaps of DOOM, But at this point it seems a bit unlikely. Dr. Smith, having set up camp on the upper levels of the Fortress, Decides to venture into the lower bowels of the Mysterious Land…

But What's this?

Dear Dr. Smith, as a Highly Respected Pillar of the Community, {At this Dr. Smith Shudders. I mean really, Who wants to be an upstanding Pillar of the Community? Where's the Fun In That?} You {as a matter of course,} know me. You know, Capt. Brown? The Mayor? Aha! I see the light of vague recognition dawning upon your face! Anyway, Back to business. The reason I have sent you this letter is, uh, what was it? oh! yes! now I remember, We've Moved your house to an inconspicuous location somewhere near your current location. I told the lads down in Space Management {For those of you who don't know, Space Management literally manages space, bending it and twisting it to the needs of the current tyrannical ruler, Capt. Brown. Time Management is in the next office over.} to put your house where no human would ever think to look for a house, Using your Latest publication: "Dr. Zachary Smith's Guide to human beliefs and expectations" as a guide.

Hope to be working with you again soon,

Capt. James Brown. Despot.

Dr. Smith's mind raced, ran out of breath, gasped for air, and collapsed, Spilling its contents all over the polished marble steps of the Gates of Reason. How did this letter get taped to my Fedora? If Capt. Brown can go around taping things to peoples hats, couldn't he arrange a meeting? Or a phone call even? What did Capt. Brown mean when he said "We've Moved your house"? Did he really? Where are my socks? How did my watch get over there? Capt. Brown couldn't really move an entire house……could he?

Guess that answers that question.

Dr. Smith's mind hops up, collecting itself. It then bends down to gather up its precious cargo, and hurries through the Gates of Reason, Intent on rejoining Dr. Smith, and hoping no one noticed the little……incident. Dr. Smith Made his way, Carefully, towards his house, keeping a careful eye out for things like: Lighting Bolts, Giant Frogs, Strange cosmic occurrences that seem to generally accompany such things as a house suddenly appearing out of a engineered fold in the fabric of time and space.

Nothing happened.

Suddenly a voice wavers out of the house, strangely flat, as if spoken by some inhuman creature…

"SIR, THE TEA IS READY."

Join us next week for our next exciting episode, entitled:

One Lump, Or Two?

-=Best Regards=-

•

Sir Jacob D. Fredrickson Esq.

Chief Executive Officer of Early Bird Industries, Inc.

-=Don't Panic=-

Hey Folks! this is a test of the Emergency image link system, Don't Panic.

EDIT: I meant to say that the image above is a link, click for Save the Croissants .com!

-=Best Regards=-

•

Sir Jacob D. Fredrickson Esq.

Chief Executive Officer of Early Bird Industries, Inc.

-=J'ai beaucoup de mal frites=-

Some of you may remember how I lost my house in the french countryside, as I remember I only explained it as "something about …tax evasion… " I feel that it needs a bit more explanation than that. Imagine this scene: I am trying to find the kitchen, as it is breakfast, and I am hungry. I hear a knock on the door, I open it to a man in a suit, he will be referred to as "S.M." {suit man}

S.M.: "bonjour monsieur, je suis ici au nom du gouvernement français,"
Me: "ce que vous vendez, je ne veux plus aucun."

I feel i should tell you at this juncture that my french is, not as good as it would be if I actually, knew any french beyond {Of course} "ce que vous vendez, je ne veux plus aucun" {whatever it is you are selling, I don't want any."} a few other key phrases, {Learnt from a professional tutor} and a smattering of Italian, but spoken with a heavy American accent.

So he comes back the next day:

S.M.:"bonjour monsieur, je crois que je devrais vous avertir que si vous claquer la porte de mon visage, je vais devoir appeler des personnes faisant autorité."

{good morning sir, I feel I should warn you that if you slam the door in my face again, I will have to call some authoritative persons.}

I did not understand any of this, so I look at him and say: {With a heavy American accent, slowly, and pronouncing every syllable:}

Me : "Je ne parle pas de la même chaussures que votre frites maison."

{Me : I do not speak of the same shoes as your fried house}

Remember that the professional tutor who taught me some key french phases? Well, he had a twisted sense of humor.

I meant to say that I did not speak much french, but I think that much was obvious by now.

S.M. : "vous êtes l'un de ces stupides Américains, avez-vous pas?"
{ blah, blah blah blah, americans blah blah?}

Me : "oui."

S.M. : "de rire! cet homme a une grande maison anglaise, mais ne parle pas français!"

After he stopped laughing, he wandered away.

A different man came the next day, this one spoke English. He informed me that I had not paid the taxes that come with a €4.2 billion house. As I was not aware of these taxes, I did not happen to have €8.2 billion on me at the time. they gave me four weeks to get together the money.

That was about the time I literally, lost the house, then the pirates came, and so I was deported for tax evasion. That's just about the tall and the short of it.

I don't hold any particular grudge against the french, just the French Government.

-=Best Regards=-

•

Sir Jacob D. Fredrickson Esq.

Chief Executive Officer of Early Bird Industries, Inc.

-=The Blinky taste of Neon=-

What an odd title. But appropriate.

Although I do not advise eating neon.

This is a video I made through the magic of iMovie HD,
turning this:



Into this:

-=Best Regards=-

•

Sir Jacob D. Fredrickson Esq.

Chief Executive Officer of Early Bird Industries, Inc.

-=Hey Folks!=-

I have a store now!

No, really!

See? Any way, we have many of products for the picky consumer, {that would be you}

Go buy something!

Or else I may be forced to do something drastic, such as, oh I don't know, add actual advertisements to the blog.

Big Pop-Up bothersome advertisements.

We sell t-shirts, cutting boards, mouse pads, and so much more!

GO BUY SOMETHING!

-=Best Regards=-

•

Sir Jacob D. Fredrickson Esq.

Chief Executive Officer of Early Bird Industries, Inc.