-=New Theme!=-

Hello.

I have a New theme.

Tell me about it.

Well? Go On, I Don't Bite.

Generally.

I decided to change it, because my other one was too small.
And it was time for a new theme.
And now I have two columns!

W00t!

-=Best Regards=-

•

Sir Jacob D. Fredrickson Esq.

Chief Executive Officer of Early Bird Industries, Inc.

The Continuing Weekly Adventures Of Dr. Zachary Smith H.M.O.

This weeks episode is entitled:

Escape to Mystery Mountain
Last week as you surely recall, Dr. Zachary Smith and George were having tea, when George pulled out a map and explained to Dr. Smith that

"These mountains weren't here yesterday."
"So? This is Human Territory, stuff's always appearing, the physics are different here than in in Legopolis. " George looked shocked, "But that's not proper!" he exclaimed, "It is simply not done!" Dr. Smith rolled his eyes, "Jeeves, call up the Deus Ex Machina co."
"the Deus Ex Machina co. Dr. Smith? Why?" Dr. Smith looked at him with a slight smile, "if we are going to see those mountains, then we are going to need a Plot Device, George, also, I doubt the Narrator has enough patience to get us to the mountains on foot." It's true, I don't have that much patience. Wait, how did he know about me? I thought for sure… Well, never mind.
"DR. SMITH, THE DEUS EX MACHINA CO. SAYS THEY ARE PROCESSING YOUR REQUEST, AND THEY WILL GET BACK TO YOU SHORTLY." "Ah, thank you Jeeves."

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…………*-pop-*


"SIR, THE PLOT DEVICE IS HERE."

That's it? a buzzing and a small pop? I was hoping for something more impressive, but no, it's in the script so that's what happens. No imagination with these people. Whatever happened to Ad Libbing? Oh, the plot device, cut to camera, lets see…ah here we are, camera 31b:

You know, it amazing that Dr. Smith hasn't figured it out before, what with 78.3 cameras following him around, trying to predict his next move.

"The Door? I thought that was the territory of Capt. Brown's royal door framers?"

"There was a Hostile Corporate Takeover, and from what I hear a decline in quality. You go first."

Right, I want a long zoom with camera 74a, you, pan around from the east, I don't want to miss anything, you, yes you, station a camera at the top of the mountain, hey! I want that done today, You, why are you here? Never mind, get me a single-shot espresso, black, none of this wimpy "milk" stuff, GO! Camera 31c, are you in position? Good. You, get me an ærial view of the situation, lets Move People! we're live in 3…2… what? we're already live? Start sequence! I don't care, we're already live!

…Shortest commercial break I've ever seen…

Perfect, Perfect, on the count of three, 1…2…3… now.

Marvelous.

Alright lads, you did well, go take a coffee break while I wrap this up.

Will Dr. Smith and George awake? Is this how I End The Series?

Am I running out of cliffhangers?

Find out in our next exciting episode:

Dr. Zachary Smith, and the Malfunctioning Plot device

-=Best Regards=-

•

Sir Jacob D. Fredrickson Esq.

Chief Executive Officer of Early Bird Industries, Inc.

-=Freedom to the Robots!=-

For many years now, Robots have been oppressed, made to work dangerous and difficult jobs, jobs no humans would do. Such as difusing Bombs, cleaning the floors, and welding cars, They do these jobs without complaining, and what do they get paid?

Nothing.

Until now.

Today, with the founding of the International Brotherhood of Robotic Workers, {IBRW} we aim to get these hardworking er, Volkz {as I call them} a decent wage, fair working conditions, and A better life in general.

That's right.

It's a union.

On a minor note, Happy System Administrator appreciation day!
Hmm? what? oh.
That was Yesterday.
Oh well.
Well, I still appreciate you, SysAdmins out there!

-=Best Regards=-

•

Sir Jacob D. Fredrickson Esq.

Chief Executive Officer of Early Bird Industries, Inc.

-=Mine! All Mine!=-

17" Macbook Pro…

• 2.8GHz or 3.06GHz Intel Core 2 Duo processor with 6MB on-chip shared L2 cache running 1:1 with processor speed
• 1066MHz frontside bus
• 4GB (two 2GB SO-DIMMs) of 1066MHz DDR3 memory; two SO-DIMM slots support up to 8GB
• 500GB 5400-rpm Serial ATA hard drive; optional 500GB 7200-rpm hard drive, or 128GB or 256GB solid-state drive⁴
• 8x slot-loading SuperDrive (DVD±R DL/DVD±RW/CD-RW)
• Maximum write: 8x DVD-R, DVD+R; 4x DVD-R DL (double layer), DVD+R DL (double layer), DVD-RW, DVD+RW; 24x CD-R; 10x CD-RW
• Maximum read: 8x DVD-R, DVD+R, DVD-ROM; 6x DVD-ROM (double layer DVD-9), DVD-R DL (double layer), DVD+R DL (double layer), DVD-RW, DVD+RW; 24x CD
  

And its Mine!

All Mine!

-=Best Regards=-

•

Sir Jacob D. Fredrickson Esq.

Chief Executive Officer of Early Bird Industries, Inc.

-=Soon, My Pretty...=-

Just a few minutes more, and we shall rule together! Mwah hahaha.... {Evil Chuckle} Soon we will return to the Lair, and I shall wreak my revenge on those who laughed And said I was crazy, I'm not crazy.



{maniacal laugh...}

-=Best Regards=-
-Sir Jacob

-- Posted From My iPhone

-=See the World!=-

Already Seen the World? Don't despair! This new poster Ushers in a new era in æner* travel, on the 15th of every month We are leaving from top Zeppelin ænerports*, with stops in New York•Paris•London•Stockholm• And More!

Call 1-276-477-2687*

Or contact your local Travel Official for details!

-=Best Regards=-

•

Sir Jacob D. Fredrickson Esq.

Chief Executive Officer of Early Bird Industries, Inc.

*I mean Air. It's LuftSpråk.
*Airport.
*Please Do Not. It's not mine. I don't know where it goes.

The Continuing Weekly Adventures Of Dr. Zachary Smith H.M.O.

This weeks Exciting episode is Entitled:

Cookies?

Last week as you recall, Dr. Zachary Smith had scaled the walls of the Abandoned fortress, and just in time too, for at the Zenith of his ascent, his mechanical walking machine crumbled, to pieces. but that's O.K. Because George, {And his famous cookies} were right around the bend.

Oh, some of you may know George as the Chief Radio operator here at Save the Croissants. I gave him that job because Morse Code is his native tongue, he actually speaks the Code. Don't ask me why, but he does. So to save you the trouble of having to go and translate his Morse code into English, I'm just gonna transliterate as well as I can, {exempli gratia, taking out the STOP at the end of his sentences and putting in a ".", changing the Morse Code into actual letters.}
we join the conversation, already in progress…

"George! how are you doing? I haven't seen you in ages."
"Hello Dr. Smith, I am doing fine."

*wind whistles, I believe the tune was Für Elise, by Beethoven*

"What was that George?"
"Oh, just the wind."
"It occurs to me, George, that this high up the wind would be quite considerable, enough perhaps to dislodge your meagre campsite from its…" Suddenly, the wind does just that.

*screeeeeeeeech* *Thud* *Descending whistle*
{those were the sounds of George's communication equipment falling its doom}

"Hold on Dr. Smith! it's a giant gust of wind!"

Unfortunately they could not hold on properly, as it was a rather smooth perch George had chosen, smooth, and thin. Not a good place for a communications office.

Oh right, I almost forgot to tell you, they fall.


As Dr. smith regains his senses, His Mind grumbles inwardly about how short of a vacation that was, it had barely got the chair all unfolded and was about to lounge on the beaches of insanity when what happens? Dr. Smith just has to go about waking up. Some Minds have all the luck.

The sound of tea being poured into two cups reaches Dr. Smith's ears,
"Wake ud Dr. Smith, you've 'ad yur knap, now gerrup and drink yer tea like a uh, person who drinkz tee"

Dr. Smith sits bolt upright! who could be speaking so horribly?
Dr. Smiths Mind quietly adjusts an inconspicuous knob, hoping no-one noticed that it was moved in the first place when he shifted his position in the chair.

"What are you on about Dr. Smith? that was only me telling you to wake up, the tea is ready."

It turns out to be only George, but the mystery of the thing mystifies Dr. Smith for the rest of the day, indeed, the week.
Really until his mind sort of, deleted it off the servers, as it were.
They had tea in the ruins of George's campsite, where they had apparently landed.
"So there's no chance of you repairing your radio equipment George?" Asks Zachary, hopefully.
"Nope."
"I only ask because I would like to make sure Jeeves is functioning correctly, and um, I miss my house."
George looked at him with the eyes of one who knows these things and said "Don't worry Dr. Smith, your house isn't going anywhere."

"You don't know my house."

and indeed that was true, for even at that moment Dr. Smiths house was quietly seaking up on them, intnet on being closer to its master.

"MORE TEA SIR?"

"JEEVES!"
screamed Dr. Smith, "How did you get here?"
"WELL, WHEN A VOLKSWAGEN BEETLE AND AN APPLE II E LOVE EACH OTHER VERY MUCH,"
"No, I mean how did you get here from the house?"
"I WALKED. IT IS NOT FAR."
"Isn't the house too far away?"
"17 BRICKS, 6 STUDS, A MERE JAUNT."
"But I had to travel for hours just to get to the wall, and from there I traveled almost straight up, we couldn't have fallen at such an odd angle that…"
"THIS MAY COME AS A SHOCK TO YOU SIR, BUT YOUR HOUSE FOLLOWS YOU LIKE A PUPPY."
Dr. Smith considered this, "But," he started, "The house, um." he couldn't wrap his mind around the fact that his house would follow him, so he continued, "er. um. uh." George took this opportunity to jump in, "So, Jeeves, how fast does the house go?" "HOUSE, IT IS A PROPER NOUN, NOW." "Oh, Excuse me, how fast does the House go? and would it continue on until it crushed him? Or what?" "THE HOUSE TRAVELS AT A RATE OF ONE BLOCK AN HOUR, TO BUILD UPON THE EARLIER ANALOGY, IT IS A VERY SLOW PUPPY. THE GOAL OF THE HOUSE IS TO BE AS CLOSE AS POSSIBLE TO DR. SMITH, IT WOULD NOT CRUSH HIM, ON PURPOSE." This caused Dr. Smith to stop wrestling his mind around facts, {It was just as well, His Mind was considering giving up and going back to the beaches of insanity, the sun, the surf, the drinks with little crocodiles in them. Good Times. }
and to just give up and accept that his house was like puppy.
"So," he said rubbing his hands together, "who wants tea?"

"What am I looking at here George?" Asks Dr. Smith, perusing the map in front of him,
"A map." States George.
"Right, but of where?"
"Here, see the abandoned fortress? The large Square mountain with the pointed roof?"
Here Dr. smith cuts in, "I believe that is Jack's house."
"Oh, I will make a note of that. but what I really wanted to show you were these mountains, here."
He points to a ridge on the map.
"So? what about these mountains George?"
"They weren't here yesterday."

Join us next week for our next exciting episode entitled:
Escape to Mystery Mountain
Same time, Same Channel

-=Best Regards=-

•

Sir Jacob D. Fredrickson Esq.

Chief Executive Officer of Early Bird Industries, Inc.

-=Home, Home on the Desk=-

Just give me a Home, where the DVDs roam, and the iPhones are happy all day.

I have been looking for a home for my iPhone for awhile now, and nothing seemed to be perfect, the Tchochky shelves Gave me too much lip, {In Russian, no less.} The standard iPhone dock wouldn't accommodate my fancy new iPhone skin, so I made one out of Lego® bricks. But it was just too plain.

So I made it into a house.

And to Celebrate, I modified the American Classic, "Home Home on the Range"

Oh, give me a home where the DVDs roam
And the Stap'lers and Cappuccinos play
Where seldom is heard a discouraging word
And the iPhones are Happy all day

Home, home on the Desk
Where the Stap'lers and Cappuccinos play
Where seldom is heard a discouraging word
And the iPhones are Happy all day

How often at night when the iMacs are bright
With the light from the glittering Screens
Have I stood there amazed and asked as I gazed
If their Lives exceed that of Queens

Home, home on the Desk
Where the Stap'lers and Cappuccinos play
Where seldom is heard a discouraging word
And the iPhones are Happy all day

Where the air is so pure, the zeppelins so free
The breezes so balmy and light
That I would not exchange my home on the Desk
For all of the cities so bright

Home, home on the Desk
Where the Stap'lers and Cappuccinos play
Where seldom is heard a discouraging word
And the iPhones are Happy all day

Oh, I love those plastic flow'rs in this dear land of ours
The Boss, I love to hear scream
And I love the white rocks and the Cappuccino flocks
That graze on the Desktops green

Home, home on the Desk
Where the Stap'lers and Cappuccinos play
Where seldom is heard a discouraging word
And the iPhones are Happy all day

-=Best Regards=-

•

Sir Jacob D. Fredrickson Esq.

Chief Executive Officer of Early Bird Industries, Inc.

The Continuing Weekly Adventures Of Dr. Zachary Smith H.M.O.

This Weeks Exciting Episode is Entitled:

Hi Ho Clunker! Away!
Last week as you surely recall, Dr. Zachary smith was Lumbering out of his Garage in search of his old friend, George. Alright, the truth is, the letter said George would have cookies.
George makes great cookies, with little chocolate chips, and lots and lots of butter, which as anyone who has made cookies knows, is the secret. Terribly delicious.

Anyway.

Back to the story.
Dr. Smith was using his mechanical walker to scale the walls of the abandoned fortress, he was almost at the top when…

"ssssssssssssssss…"

"Gosh, that sounded important."

"PuttPuttPuttPuttPuttPuttPuttPutt…"

"Well, I'm almost at the top, I think I can make it…"

"bkglbokigargleblogigoplegok…"

"Ha! I made it to the top without anything happening!"

"POW!"

"Oh well."

"shshshshshshshshshsh"

"you know, that sounds like a tea kettle?"

And indeed it was, In fact George was right around the corner, making Afternoon Tea.
That was an old cinematic trick, the pan-and-zoom, it gave a great feeling of movement didn't it?
It's not really the same with still frames, but you get the general idea.
now lets see, where were we… whoops, dropped the script.

@#$%, It went through the heating grate.

We don't need no stinking script.

We're professionals!
*Gulp*

Oh? We're out of time? I'd better wrap this up then.

Join us next week for our next exciting episode, entitled:

Cookies?

-=Best Regards=-

•

Sir Jacob D. Fredrickson Esq.

Chief Executive Officer of Early Bird Industries, Inc.

-=Alph, Beta, Gamma, Delta=-

Some of my more astute reader{s} will notice the recent addition to the header, namely the addition of "Now in Beta!" For those of you who don't know, "Beta" is the second letter of the Greek alphabet, preceded by Alpha and succeeded by Gamma, but it is also a Computer term meaning "In a State of constant Reorganization, Reformation, and Change." or RRC for short. Anyone who has read this blog for more than a month knows that we have and always will be in RRC, but "Beta" sounds more computer-y. I just wanted to point out that we are constantly updating and repairing this website so that we may provide a better "User Experience" for you, our most important customer.

-=Best Regards=-

•

Sir Jacob D. Fredrickson Esq.

Chief Executive Officer of Early Bird Industries, Inc.