The Continuing Weekly Adventures Of Dr. Zachary Smith H.M.O.

Today's Episode:
Nope, Not Conspicuous At All.

I know what you are wondering, and yes, I did skip an entire week of the Continuing Adventures.

Lets Call It A "Hiatus".

But we are now back, and better than, er, Last Week!

Week Before Last, as you surely recall, Dr. Zachary Smith, Humanologist was exploring an abandoned Fortress, Perhaps of DOOM, But at this point it seems a bit unlikely. Dr. Smith, having set up camp on the upper levels of the Fortress, Decides to venture into the lower bowels of the Mysterious Land…

But What's this?

Dear Dr. Smith, as a Highly Respected Pillar of the Community, {At this Dr. Smith Shudders. I mean really, Who wants to be an upstanding Pillar of the Community? Where's the Fun In That?} You {as a matter of course,} know me. You know, Capt. Brown? The Mayor? Aha! I see the light of vague recognition dawning upon your face! Anyway, Back to business. The reason I have sent you this letter is, uh, what was it? oh! yes! now I remember, We've Moved your house to an inconspicuous location somewhere near your current location. I told the lads down in Space Management {For those of you who don't know, Space Management literally manages space, bending it and twisting it to the needs of the current tyrannical ruler, Capt. Brown. Time Management is in the next office over.} to put your house where no human would ever think to look for a house, Using your Latest publication: "Dr. Zachary Smith's Guide to human beliefs and expectations" as a guide.

Hope to be working with you again soon,

Capt. James Brown. Despot.

Dr. Smith's mind raced, ran out of breath, gasped for air, and collapsed, Spilling its contents all over the polished marble steps of the Gates of Reason. How did this letter get taped to my Fedora? If Capt. Brown can go around taping things to peoples hats, couldn't he arrange a meeting? Or a phone call even? What did Capt. Brown mean when he said "We've Moved your house"? Did he really? Where are my socks? How did my watch get over there? Capt. Brown couldn't really move an entire house……could he?

Guess that answers that question.

Dr. Smith's mind hops up, collecting itself. It then bends down to gather up its precious cargo, and hurries through the Gates of Reason, Intent on rejoining Dr. Smith, and hoping no one noticed the little……incident. Dr. Smith Made his way, Carefully, towards his house, keeping a careful eye out for things like: Lighting Bolts, Giant Frogs, Strange cosmic occurrences that seem to generally accompany such things as a house suddenly appearing out of a engineered fold in the fabric of time and space.

Nothing happened.

Suddenly a voice wavers out of the house, strangely flat, as if spoken by some inhuman creature…

"SIR, THE TEA IS READY."

Join us next week for our next exciting episode, entitled:

One Lump, Or Two?

-=Best Regards=-

•

Sir Jacob D. Fredrickson Esq.

Chief Executive Officer of Early Bird Industries, Inc.

-=Don't Panic=-

Hey Folks! this is a test of the Emergency image link system, Don't Panic.

EDIT: I meant to say that the image above is a link, click for Save the Croissants .com!

-=Best Regards=-

•

Sir Jacob D. Fredrickson Esq.

Chief Executive Officer of Early Bird Industries, Inc.

-=J'ai beaucoup de mal frites=-

Some of you may remember how I lost my house in the french countryside, as I remember I only explained it as "something about …tax evasion… " I feel that it needs a bit more explanation than that. Imagine this scene: I am trying to find the kitchen, as it is breakfast, and I am hungry. I hear a knock on the door, I open it to a man in a suit, he will be referred to as "S.M." {suit man}

S.M.: "bonjour monsieur, je suis ici au nom du gouvernement français,"
Me: "ce que vous vendez, je ne veux plus aucun."

I feel i should tell you at this juncture that my french is, not as good as it would be if I actually, knew any french beyond {Of course} "ce que vous vendez, je ne veux plus aucun" {whatever it is you are selling, I don't want any."} a few other key phrases, {Learnt from a professional tutor} and a smattering of Italian, but spoken with a heavy American accent.

So he comes back the next day:

S.M.:"bonjour monsieur, je crois que je devrais vous avertir que si vous claquer la porte de mon visage, je vais devoir appeler des personnes faisant autorité."

{good morning sir, I feel I should warn you that if you slam the door in my face again, I will have to call some authoritative persons.}

I did not understand any of this, so I look at him and say: {With a heavy American accent, slowly, and pronouncing every syllable:}

Me : "Je ne parle pas de la même chaussures que votre frites maison."

{Me : I do not speak of the same shoes as your fried house}

Remember that the professional tutor who taught me some key french phases? Well, he had a twisted sense of humor.

I meant to say that I did not speak much french, but I think that much was obvious by now.

S.M. : "vous êtes l'un de ces stupides Américains, avez-vous pas?"
{ blah, blah blah blah, americans blah blah?}

Me : "oui."

S.M. : "de rire! cet homme a une grande maison anglaise, mais ne parle pas français!"

After he stopped laughing, he wandered away.

A different man came the next day, this one spoke English. He informed me that I had not paid the taxes that come with a €4.2 billion house. As I was not aware of these taxes, I did not happen to have €8.2 billion on me at the time. they gave me four weeks to get together the money.

That was about the time I literally, lost the house, then the pirates came, and so I was deported for tax evasion. That's just about the tall and the short of it.

I don't hold any particular grudge against the french, just the French Government.

-=Best Regards=-

•

Sir Jacob D. Fredrickson Esq.

Chief Executive Officer of Early Bird Industries, Inc.

-=The Blinky taste of Neon=-

What an odd title. But appropriate.

Although I do not advise eating neon.

This is a video I made through the magic of iMovie HD,
turning this:



Into this:

-=Best Regards=-

•

Sir Jacob D. Fredrickson Esq.

Chief Executive Officer of Early Bird Industries, Inc.

-=Hey Folks!=-

I have a store now!

No, really!

See? Any way, we have many of products for the picky consumer, {that would be you}

Go buy something!

Or else I may be forced to do something drastic, such as, oh I don't know, add actual advertisements to the blog.

Big Pop-Up bothersome advertisements.

We sell t-shirts, cutting boards, mouse pads, and so much more!

GO BUY SOMETHING!

-=Best Regards=-

•

Sir Jacob D. Fredrickson Esq.

Chief Executive Officer of Early Bird Industries, Inc.

-=A Few Notes On JakobRikeILuften=-

On the agenda today;

Modifications to the constitution and A new National anthem.


Modifications to the constitution

Modification#1: It has been brought to my attention that my Constitution is too strict, and so I am modifying it from: "… 5. There will be no smoking, drinking of alcohol, or illegal substances in JakobRikeILuften. Anyone possessing any of these things, will be given a fair trial, and then shot. If "the Boss" decides to take mercy on your soul, you will merely be deported and restricted from entering JakobRikeILuften in your lifetime. …"

to: "… 5. There will be no smoking, drinking of alcohol, or illegal substances in JakobRikeILuften. Anyone possessing any of these things, will be given a fair trial, and if found guilty they will be deported and restricted from entering JakobRikeILuften. Or until they swear off illegal contraband. …"

A new National anthem

I would like the new national anthem to be "Come Fly with me" by Mr. Frank Sinatra, but set to a rousing march, and the chorus to be set to the chorus of "Oh Canada", now, I can't sing. Or Compose. but just imagine it, if you will. But Done Correctly.

-=Best Regards=-

•

Sir Jacob D. Fredrickson Esq.

Chief Executive Officer of Early Bird Industries, Inc.

-=Subliminal BUY OUR JUNK! Messaging=-

Now that is what I call shame full marketing,
you need what I am selling you
Inserting things into the middle of sentences, Subliminal marketing, that's what it called.
buy sir Jacobs tip top toppers
you would never find anything like that here,
available in all fine haberdasheries
no siree Bob.
you do not register the tiny text in between the lines
Never.
save the croissants is the best blog ever. Tell your friends. and your family.

-=Best Regards=-

•

Sir Jacob D. Fredrickson Esq.

Chief Executive Officer of Early Bird Industries, Inc.

-=Flying Blog Feed=-

VISIT!

SEE! THE BEST AVIATION BLOGS ON THE INTERNET!

they are actually the BEST ones, {as selected by Mr. David Earl}

He scoures the Elektric Ætherwebs, Searching for blogs related to flying, and if they meet his exacting requirements*, he links to them.

he has several catagories, including {but not limited to}

• Bush Flying
• Cabin Crew
• Choppers
• Controllers
• Flight Levels
• General Aviation
  

and so many more!

VISIT TODAY!

•

Some of you may know Mr. David Earl as chief of the Weblog entitled: "Dave's {Mostly Flying} Blog" he is also my chef, but he would never admit it to his reading public. I did not make "Flying Blog Feed" But I did make the poster. Flying Blog Feed does sponsor my Rather Rambling Escapades on the Elektric Aetherweb, Not the blog, but the website.

•

-=Best Regards=-

•

Sir Jacob D. Fredrickson Esq.

Chief Executive Officer of Early Bird Industries, Inc.

*his exacting Requirements are:
1. Regularly updated
2. Flying related
3. Mr. David Earl Chooses it

-=Desktop Image!=-

Today I am releasing a background, for your desktop! now in three different sizes!

•1024 x 768
•800 x 600
•640 x 480

Instructions: For Mac users;
1. Click link.

2. Ctrl-click image
3. Select "set as desktop background…"

For P.C. users:
You are on your own.
Sorry, I am a mac guy, I don't remember the Dark Days before the Macintosh.

*Shudder*

Perhaps one of my reader{s} could post a how-to as a comment?

I would apperciate it!

-=Best Regards=-

•

Sir Jacob D. Fredrickson Esq.

Chief Executive Officer of Early Bird Industries, Inc.

{Normal Artwork Rules Apply}

-=Revised iPhone Background=-

you may not notice the difference from the previous incarnation, so I will just point it out then, its the shadow. Around the badge, I felt that the previous incarnation did not properly outline the white part of the badge, as it sort of got lost in the white paint part.
And here is another version, same as above, just more shadow!

-=Best Regards=-

•

Sir Jacob D. Fredrickson Esq.

Chief Executive Officer of Early Bird Industries, Inc.